Don't piss off your coworkers!!! HAHAHAHA

That is hilarious! You, Sir are going to he**

 

yeah u def deserved an ass woopin for that - hope u were bigger than him :up:

 

That's some funny shit.

Like they say in the Navy, if you fall asleep anywhere but in your bunk you are fair game for some crazy shit usually involving male genetalia.

The freezing thing is funny. We would get guys that wouldn't shower or were just all around douchebags and wait til they were on watch and soak their matresses in water then stick them in the walk in freezer on the boat. They would freeze solid. Then stick them back in their bunk later.

I got woke up by a 5 gallon bucket of cold water once when I fell asleep in Engineroom Lower Level. :wow:

 

Strength is in the numbers. No one is safe regardless of size because the numbers always win.

 

You would get kicked in the junk.

 

Only one of the group would get kicked in the junk then you would get kicked in the junk by all but one of the group. There would be two guys crying about their junk getting kicked... one louder than the other.

 

true dat!

 

The lesson here: avoid morons.

I'd never make it out of basic training without assault charges, dunno how some of you do it, but I have ideas.

 

That's the risk they take. Paybacks are hell... and fun.

Patrols are long so you can be really slow and devious too when plotting your paybacks. I never got messed with much on the boat because I was a devious SOB... at least everyone thought I was.

 

One of the boomers(a friend/classmate was on) had a nuke Chief that was an ass and told the guys(nuke engineering guys) to get him coffee all the time while they were on watch. Mind you, he's not trapped in a room or anything, he can walk the 20ft to the coffee pot himself. Another note, never tell any sailor to get you ANYTHING that you are planning to put in your mouth.... NEVER! The guys on the ship got tired of the Chief's attitude and decided they would take the 3 month patrol to teach him a lesson. The 8 thousand gallon/day distilling unit uses and additive to help it work properly. It is a powdered chemical. This chemical if taken concentrated will give you the shits... raging shits from what I'm told. So what the guys decided to do was work the Chief up slowly and give his body a chance to adjust. They started with like a tablespoon per pot of coffee(~2qt pot) then worked their way up to about a 1:1 ratio of coffee to chemical. Apparently that stuff has no real taste. So anyway, the Chief's body had adjusted to the stuff over the weeks(2 or 3 I would guess) so the guys cut off the chemical cold turkey. The Chief's colon locked up and he got a major case of constipation from being cut off of the chemical. It got so bad that he had to go to the Corpsman for an enema to open him up. So they waited for him to get over that(probably a week or so) then they went right back to the full loading again. They said shortly after that first cup of coffee the Chief spent the full 6 hours in the shitter.

Damn that's some mean stuff right there.

The Chief never told anyone to get him anything else. :up:

 

baby powder works well too, but it's not really easy to find in an office. we used powdered coffee creamer on april fools day. be sure to turn the vents on HIGH.

if you don't have access to the shredder (the waste portion of ours is locked) a 3-hole punch is a good alternative

not sure what kind of office environment everyone has, but if you can get to your coworkers' computers before the terminal locks, we downloaded a screen saver that mimics the 'blue screen of death' with Windows. it's only funny until they wake up the machine though. What's better is if you can schedule a meeting with coworkers, and set your machine so everyone else can see the monitor. 3 of us freaked out when our boss's computer started to 'melt-down' during a meeting. he just laughed at us.

i miss the days of having glare shields on CRT monitors. someone taped a piece of black paper to the back of my glare shield, and stuck it back on teh monitor. I didn't realize it until after swapping the monitor for a new one. never got a chance to use that prank on anyone else. wasted a solid hour...

 

You nerds worry me.

 

buddy of mine and I got into it it college.

It ended when he couldn't get his trooper to start on the way to a job interview. Neither he nor the other "mechanics" could figure out why.

I had pulled the rotor out of the distributor.

 

damn that is sick!

best one ive heard yet!!

 

The best we did was turn around a guys desk. Knee hole style with draws on the sides. Took everything off it spun the desk and put everything back on in the exact same place. Confused the hell out of him for a bit.

The other thing we'd do is stick a traffic cone on someone's desk if they left the office after checking in files that ended up breaking the build for everyone else. We got carried away one day and piled his desk with everyone's chairs, trash cans, shred boxes etc. The pile ended up a good 10 feet off the floor.

Software geeks are lame.

 

An unwritten rule in the P-3 community is, "NEVER tell the Flight Engineer to get you coffee or food." The common practice is to dick the rim and then write in the bottom the cup, "How did my cock taste?" with a picture of a cock and balls in the bottom of the cup so that you would only see when your taking the last sips. Other more extreme stuff could happen if the pilot was a real prick or ring knocker.

 

I'm sure we could sit down and write a book.

I've always thought a talk show on cable TV with former military guys telling sea stories/"war" stories would be so damn funny. I'm pretty sure the Military Network would not go for it though. When I was an instructor at prototype we would go to Navy housing to one of the garages after day 7 or the 3-Midnight shift and sit around the bug candles and tell sea stories to the staff pickup instructors(they had never been to sea). Damn, told stories so much I almost forgot what kind of ship I was on.

 

this is a fun alternative prank-- best 10 bucks I've ever spent and the version 2.0 now comes in 6 frequencies with adjustable volume... Muahahahaha

http://forums.13x.com/showthread.php?t=192206&highlight=annoying+coworker