Any Divorce Tips, Help or Guidance

Can you of you divorce veterans give me a little help.

This will be my first divorce and we have no kids.

All the assets are in my name except for her car.

Any tricks to keep it low cost, any tips to keep the fighting at a minimal?

How do you divide things if you can't come to agreement?

Thanks and by the way this sucks.

Just hoping I can keep my track bike and trailer.

 

By some land, shoot her, freeze her, buy a wood chipper, rent bobcat, dig hole on land, cut down trees, chip trees then her then more trees into the hole. cover with dirt...sell wood chipper

Go racing either right away or after your parole date depending on how well you execute the plan.

 

Ugh. Marriage is marriage, but divorce is business.
Try to keep calm, realistic, and not emotional. Things have a better chance of being smooth without fighting and yelling.
Chances are, you're gonna lose half of everything you (as a pair) have, so be prepared for that, unless there are mitigating circumstances.
Anything joint (bank accounts, credit cards) separate them now! Document everything (balances, debt, assets) so if she decides to go on a spending spree, there is record of it.
Sorry :down:
Cheers, Lee S.

 

Don't know where you live and I'm not a lawyer, but I was in the same boat a couple years ago. Anything I wanted to keep was valued by an appraiser, and I had to buy her out of it/added to the settlement, etc. If your house is above water you will have to buy her out of her half of the equity. If it's underwater and you want it, you will have to find a way to get her off the title (refinance). Good luck with that. I got a shitty house appraisal, had to come up with a bunch of cash to to get it done. It doesn't matter if shes not on the title, it's the mortgage note that counts. She took a chunk of my pension, and a chunk of my deferred comp, and I took 1/2 the credit card debt that I didn't... ugh... etc etc.

She left, had a lawyer on retainer and the paperwork filed before she even took off. I had no idea. Refused counseling, refused to talk, barely participated in mediation. She got a nasty lawyer and the process was hell. Took 1.5 years to get it done... we were married for 4 years. No kids. No unusual circumstances.

Marriage is a fucking scam. Best of luck to you, sorry for what you're about to go through.

 

Pay her off. Get some strange and move on.

 

amicable or not,
get a lawyer.

there is no cheap way to this. I am not a veteran but i have enough female friends with license plates that say "was his" or similar to know the game.

 

Who is seeking the divorce and did one or both of you get some strange (yes it matters)?
How long were you married?
Who makes the most money? and by how much?

 

Search Utoobz for "divorce bank", check out the first result for some quasi info/laughs.

Popp has some interesting advice lol

 

No it doesn't. Not everywhere anyway.

 

THe process sucks. There is no easy way out. I honestly gave my ex everything and started over. It was easier that way in my case. But I didn't have much in savings and such.

 

Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."

 

too much snatch is the reason he is here in the first place.

 

Look up Robert Pickton. Killed 49 women in the Vancouver area and fed them to his pigs.

 

winner

OP: sorry to hear.

 

You don't go medieval. A wood chipper creates a DNA salad. You wanna do it right? You disappear. Toss her the keys, and the shirt off your back and go find Captain Stabbin John Kangas in the keys.

 

prison might be better than being Kangas's cabin bitch.

we will have another thread about being unexpected "boarding" at night.

 

Don't get hitched is my plan.

 

If it's DNR (conservation officer) no thanks. Them dudes don't play nice.

 

Get atty
Get off all social media
Never ever ever say a word about her to anyone but atty
secure all assets in your possession or escrow
Change the house locks
Get your home/car declared off limits to her
No pics of you taken
DON'T date!

 

You couldn't get a PDF to marry you any way. Your plumage isn't colorful enough.