Empty Nest Syndrome

I feel the heaviness weighing on my heart. Youngest just turned 18, and finishing school in a couple weeks.
Throw in the high possibility of moving out of state in less than 2 months, and it’s all hitting pretty hard and fast, since I think my daughter doesn’t want to move with us. That I understand. Kids want that newfound freedom, and little birdies need to fly.
I just feel guilty if I don’t keep a ground base she knows as home, for her to fall back on if need be. I don’t think that feeling is wrong, as a parent. However I realize the importance of life experiences…….good and bad.
So many major changes, so quickly……….just venting.

 

There’s a pill for that.

 

Sounds like great parents to me. Her ground base is wherever you are. The geography is details.

 

I get where you're coming from. I felt a serious gut punch when my son moved to Pennsylvania 4 years ago. Ended up we made the best of it with trips to visit every 6 months and had a lot of great experiences up there. Now that he's back everything is normal, but moving away was a great thing for him at the time. I think he really grew up in those 3 years.

 

Things going forward will definitely be different, but not bad. There will be times you appreciate your (as parents) new "freedom" while adapting to missing what was an eighteen year constant. When Sarah moved away to school that was planned and scheduled so it was fairly smooth. Moving six hours north five days after graduation, on the other hand, was one hell of a jolt!
I'm betting your whole family is better prepared for this than you realize. You'll be fine.

 

My "kids" are 28 & 30...
28 yo is in Atlanta.
30yo is in North Dakota and has 2 sons now.
We live in Pennsylvania.
Personally, I love the empty nest life... wife and I now can come and go as we please.
It's a little hard on my wife not being able to in person see the 2 grandkids very often.
But now they give us reason for "road trips"!!!

 

2 things. #1: I wish it was that easy #2: I’m glad it’s not.

 

I’m only buying an hour away from current home, so it won’t be a long distance thing thankfully. It’s actually really close to her/my favorite ATV park/trails, so there is that. Yes, I admit the dad/buddy mentality has me secretly wishing that’ll entice her to tag along……..but I know it’s just wishful thinking Longer story short, I’ve been raising kids since 1986…….it’s going to be Weird!!!! ………gd lump in my throat

 

We have one leaving in a few weeks. I hug her a little tighter every day but I’ve been told raising daughters is like raising tigers. She really needs to be released into the wild at this point.

Wife and I had about one year of marriage before kids so trying to remember how to be husband and wife more and mom and dad less is kind of exciting.

 

My wife and I have had basically ZERO time together without kids around. I was raising my nephew and niece, when my wife and I met.

 

Funny I was just looking at the section of kitchen wall where I had marked my son's various heights/dates and cant believe he is going to graduate college in 1 week. He's got a passport and an adventurous girlfriend so they are planning to do a couple of months of traveling overseas.
Now I just have to get my project list done at the house, sell the place I had earmarked for him & look forward to his visits.

 

Absolutely not looking forward to these days. My daughter will more than likely be gone day one. My son however, would probably live at home forever if I let him.

 

May I recommend an opiate addiction instead?

Easy for me to say, I suppose, but I so look forward to the stories I’ll hear when my little shitbirds fly the coop. Best I can do is continue giving them flying lessons for when the turbulence hits.

 

If I recall, yours are still fairly young. I'm not even going to dare post pics of my daughters bachelorette weekend in Miami last week Enjoy the innocence.

 

Kid leaves for school in less than 2 mos. Fortunately it’s only 3 hours away.
He still wants to race so that will be fun to just meet at the track for the weekend.

 

GF and I each had a pretty fulfilling life before the kids, so hopefully we can go back to enjoying ourselves. We already get alone time when our kids go to their respective other parents (reconstructed family), so we have learned to spend some time together and enjoy life on our own. She likes riding the motorcycle with me and we plan short trips together, visiting wineries and shit. Eventually, I'll buy a big tourer and we'll do some serious touring together when we're retired, or at least I hope !
But I know it's still going to be a big blow to get over. My son and I are best buds and I hope he stays close. My parents took it hard when I left for law school. When my younger brother left the country to live on the other side of the globe, it was very tough on them. We haven't seen him in two years and I'm kinda mad at him for it. Fucker left me to take care of my aging parents by myself...

 

I wondered if this has to do with different generations, but when I left at 19 for my 4 year enlistment, my parents were basically "see ya". And we were tight

 

^^this^^

dare

 

Heh. Innocence. In 2023.

I’m just happy both girls know they’re girls.

 

ZERO tolerance for dealing with opiates. Watched mom with a needle in her arm far too often as a kid Loud and clear on the flying lessons I just didn’t expect this to hit as hard as it did