....addressed to me....but the return address is labeled....' THE BEEB'. That's all it says...'THE BEEB'. I'm afraid to open it. The end.
They're sending you a strap on ! Since you have not been nailing the pizza delivery milfs like you were supposed to, it seems fair to think that the pizza delivery milfs should be nailing you instead.
It's a dildo punched through a pie plate full of glitter on a spring. Open the box, the dildo and pie plate launch out and pokes you in the eye and covers you in glitter. At the emergency room try explaining why your face and open body is covered in glitter and that your black eye was caused by a spring launched dildo.