Nightmare employee

If you are cleared then it's all good...

 

I wish I could discuss the good ones. They typically end with a "go away package."

Meet me for a beer at one of the nationals and we can swap horror stories.

 

I was overseeing the build out of a section of a factory and we were using a sub for the majority of the build. Wasn't going too bad except two of the guys were body builders and working on careers as professional wrestlers. They were a tag team and . . . they seemed to hate one another and would have knock down, drag out fist fights for shit as small as who was going up the ladder or who was going to bring the drywall screws. Both were in the 6'4" range and I wasn't and I'd have to seperate these two at least 3 times a day, 6 days a week.

One made is to the WWF tryout level and was on TV a few times, the other got tossed in jail for a few years for stupid shit.

 

Pretty sure my Crew Resource Management class used that accident in a case study

 

We had a short, stalky, bearded employee that kinda looked like Gimly from LOTR and he probably smelled like the people from Middle Earth too.

The guy had a very thick employee record filled with stories of him losing his temper and yelling at the people in his department for all kind of stupid reasons, including when he clocked another employee going to the bathroom for what he decided was too long. About twice a year, I would have a woman come up to my office crying because he had just yelled at her. One day, he even said to an employee "I should get my shotgun !" This is when I decided this had lasted long enough, so I fired him at around 11:00 AM. I was afraid he would go postal on us.

It's now 3:00 PM and he comes up to my office saying he needs a lift home. I don't understand why he's still here, but whatever. I kind of feel sorry for him, so I say okay and we hop in my car. He completely fills it with useless junk he had gathered through the years and had spent the last 4 hours packing. Both the trunk and the rear seat are filled to maximum capacity. Of course, it smells like an Orc's rectum.

When we finally get to his home, he steps out and I notice the passenger seat where he was sitting is wet... Turns out he had stolen milk cups from the cafeteria and put them in his pockets and since I have sport seats that hug your butt for cornering, the pressure made them collapse and now there is milk all over my seat... That's what you get for being a nice guy. Cost me a fortune to get the smell and milk out of my car...

 

Had a front desk girl call in on a Monday morning because she had been committed to the psych ward over the weekend.

 

he johnson!!! busa is gonna be pissed when he reads this!

;-)

 

Holy crap, we had to fire a guy at my last job for that. He passed out before anyone noticed what the fuck he did.

 

I have an employee that shits his pants, every single day. I do not mean fart, I mean he literally shits his pants. I have to change him every time. Nothing worse then working on a something and then have to stop and wipe shit off of someone ass.

Did I mention I've been working from home while watching my 2 year old?

 

Was having a company meeting (50 people)...kid gets up, goes over to the the coffee maker, grabs an empty coffee pot and proceeds to run over and smash it over the head of another employee....gets on top of the now bloodied employee and does a number on his face....

walked into the bathroom to see a dude on the floor OD'ing with a needle in his arm....

walked into the bathroom (different occasion) to see a guy in a fetal position on the floor weeping..mental breakdown....was admitted via ambulance...

was doing post season layoffs - dude refused to leave. called the police...refused to leave. Kind police officers escorted him out. Would not get in the cruiser....next thing you know, he's on the ground and they have their tazers pulled! 'stop resisting or you WILL be tazed!"

Had to fire 2 employees - skinny dude decided to start a fight with the 6'4" 350 lbs dude. Skinny dude takes a swing...I hear yelling, run out of my office to see the 6'4" dude on the ground with a choke hold on the skinny dude....out cold....

dude has a breakdown and proceeds to take it out on a computer screen - bloodying his now swollen knuckles....

 

Me. ;-)

 

I used to work for a large ISP 13 years ago and HR sent the entire company (3,000+ employees) an email not to smear feces on the bathroom walls. As it turned out, it was some disgruntled tech support employees.

 

This thread reminded me of these guys...

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blog...ing-heist-180740929--abc-news-topstories.html

 

More amusing than terrifying...

We had Tim, aka Pep (for Peppy LePew) the Human Tire Chuck. Would wash his face (only) so always had ring-around-the-head. Kid obviously had issues, got canned once and his parents came in and begged for his job back. We assumed he was the sole breadwinner there...

Pulls a customer's truck up front, stick, left the brake off and not in gear. Guy turns around asks, "hey, where's my truck going?" as it bounces off the curb other side of the lot. Thank god it didn't jump the curb and make it to the river...

Backing out an old T-bird with a sticky neutral switch. Decides to push it out (backwards) one foot-ing it until he catchs the door on the lift controls. Gets out, pushes forward from the rear bumper. The door closes just as the rear tires hit the sloped apron. I swear, he was back there for a half an hour holding that car until anyone else got to work.

Another time trying to jump start a truck it rolled, as he was closest to the door he dove in the window to hit the brake. It's still funny thinking of his feet dangling out.

Then there is the two kids who spent most of the day smoking pot out back if we were slow...

 

While working at an HR Outsourcing company, had a co-manager who was nailing an on phone customer service rep. They would go to his place downtown over lunch, and the dumb ass video'd his exploits with her. Further idiocy involved him emailing her the vids. Her boyfriend found the vids, then called bosses to explain he would be coming in to kill said manager.
The immediacy with which they were both removed from the building was impressive.

 

Right now, RNYC and drummer are prolly front runners, but there's some solid competition. I'm still waiting to see MB come through given his claim of being able to bury the competition.

 

Wasn't my underling or employee but I had two guys who were doing concrete work on the side steal a truck load of sand one spring. I had to talk security and the maint department into not having them arrested or even saying anything. The sand was the winter mix they used to sand the lots and it was missed with about 1/3 salt.

 

dave, we always mixed in antifreeze....