You wanted it !! You got it! Now who is talking Sh#T

FATHER: Please, please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion!
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. We are here today to
witness the union of two young people in the joyful bond of the holy
wedlock. Unfortunately, one of them, my son Herbert, has just fallen
to his death. But I think I've not lost a son, so much as... gained
a daughter! For, since the tragic death of her father--
RANDOM: He's not quite dead!
FATHER: Since the near fatal wounding of her father--
RANDOM: He's getting better!
FATHER: For, since her own father... who, when he seemed about to
recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him,...
[ugh]
RANDOM: Oh, he's died!
FATHER: And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own
dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.
[clapping]
And I feel sure that the merger -- uh, the union -- between the
Princess and the brave, but dangerous, Sir Launcelot of Camelot...
LAUNCELOT: What?
RANDOM: Look! The dead Prince!
CONCORDE: He's not quite dead!
HERBERT: Oh, I feel much better.
FATHER: You fell out of the tower, you creep!
HERBERT: No, I was saved at the last minute.
FATHER: How?!
HERBERT: Well, I'll tell you...

 

I really enjoy this new trend that has idiotic threads instantly devolving into random Monty Python lines. It's much more fun to read than anything that could possibly actually relate to the thread.

 

Combined with the ass pics? It's a win-win situation...

 

...and now I'm here to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles.

 

Can it get any better? We live in the best of times...

 

Good evening, and welcome to The Money Programme. Tonight on The Money Programme, we're going to look at money. Lots of it. On film, and in the studio. Some of it in nice piles, others in lovely clanky bits of loose change. Some of it neatly counted into fat little hundreds, delicate fivers stuffed into bulging wallets, nice crisp clean checks, pert pieces of copper coinage thrust deep into trouser pockets, romantic foreign money rolling against the thigh with rough familiarity, beautiful wayward curlicued banknotes, filigreed copper plating cheek by jowl with tumbly rubbing gently against the terse leather of beautifully balanced bank books!!

 

Cheesy comestibles was in the other thread.

 

Brings a smile to the face everytime.

 

once we get really deep in the Fawlty Towers references, we're gonna lose the masses

 

I think it will be ok as long as we don't mention the war.

 

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say.
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, give a wistle!
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...

(the music fades into the song)

...always look on the bright side of life!
(whistle)

Always look on the bright side of life...
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten!
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,

When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps,
Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing!
And... always look on the bright side of life...

(whistle)
Come on!

(other start to join in)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(whistle)

For life is quite absurd,
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow!
Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin,
Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow!

So always look on the bright side of death!
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.

Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true,
You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you!

And always look on the bright side of life...
(whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life
(whistle)
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

 

And now for something completely different.


Hump? What Hump?

 

Go to Sweden this year, see the majestic moose...

 

Now, you listen here: 'e's not the Messiah, 'e's a very naughty boy! Now, go away!

 

And now... No. 3. The Larch

 

I got that one the other thread...we're even

 

my sister got bitten by a moose once....

 

This is a 12-story block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive here and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort, past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these...

 

oh I'm fully expecting repeats at this point...what I'm really looking forward to is the quotes used in proper context as a reply