Top Ten Motorcycle Retard Quotes

Couple years back I stopped to get a coffee with a couple buddies one evening when the cast to Biker Boyz rolled up into the parking lot (didn't realize this was a normal bike night gathering spot). One of the homies comes over to us and ask "so we doin' any racin' tonight?"

I looked at him and just past him to the rest of his buddies and asked "I dunno, will the race involve any turning?"

He looked at me perplexed for a 1/2 second, turned and walked away.

 

Was it this guy?

 

In a slightly inebriated state I had an HD rider walk past me, lookin' at my tarted-up Triumph Scrambler. As he passed he told his girlfriend, "If it ain't Harley, it ain't shit!"

Not quietly enough I muttered, "So if it IS Harley it IS shit?"

Fortunately he was too drunk to run very far...

 

No, left that at home. Had the 'Flint Kit' on it that night.

 

hahahaha!! good point,i didnt see that one.good on ya!!!

 

So... have you?

 

Hell yeah. My brother and I built a super sweet launch ramp out of plywood and empty cases of beer. I told him to go first

 

I'm pretty sure you are right, what ever happened to her anyway?

 

Been asked the same thing. I usually ask if they know where exactly there "American" bike was produced?

 

High school gf's dad added after saying exact same thing :"Which one are you?"
Me: "The one bringing your daughter home. Tomorrow."

And the skank stunna's ride along.. "If he's gonna die on a bike I'm gonna die with him"

 

She's around, but I think she's completely out of motorcycles. That's too bad. She was pretty darned fast. She had a sweet disposition, too, and didn't deserve the shit she got during that pissing match on here. Mad Brad.....picking on girls.....on the internet. What a little douche.

 

Them: That's a nice bike, who makes it?

Me: Aprilia

Them: Never heard of them. How fast does it go?

 

I was working on my vintage 250 Ducati race bike in my driveway one weekend when a contractor who was working on our house turned up.

"That's a nice little bike, didn't know Harley's made a bike that small."

(It has a big Ducati sticker on the tank)

"It's a Ducati"

"Never heard of them, are they as big as the other Jap makes"?

 

Can't count how many times I've been asked if my SV is a Buell...

 

My eyes are bleeding from looking at his teeth.



:down:

 

I brought a set of wheels off my 750 (I'm too big to ride a lowly 600) into the local squid shop that's literally a block from my house. The tech is taking race tires off and putting new RACE tires on. The squid that was standing next to his lowered, stretched, fully fag'd out ZX10 says 'yeah I might change brands, these Shinko's cost too much'.
I said 'I'll sell you this set right here, the middle's hardly been touched, and they're race compounds, definitely will work better than most any street tire'.
His reply:

 

Without warmers he might be right...

 

Don't they do burnouts and shit before they leave for the coffee shop, I mean drag race?

 

Jealousy?