Preparing for lengthy hospital stay....what do I buy/bring/need?

Attention @SpeedyE and @Gorilla George

I appoint the two of you The Beeb's Piglet and Calf ... two survivors that will beat the odds and flourish beyond the norm. It was fate that the two of you were brought together by this community - so you can feed off each other's strong will and tenacity.

2020 will not stop The Beeb's "Comeback Kids."

 

<3

 

Haha dude that's awesome!

 

Mmmmm bacon burgers!

 

Stay strong Speedy. You're one tough nut to go through this. I've got a raccoon poking around my garbage cans again. If I can trap it, I'll box him up and send it your way for an emotional support trash panda.

 

Personally not seeing people for days on end sounds like heaven but to be honest it sounds like a bad thing for you now. Any chance you can arrange visitors? Anyone would be good probably. Maybe use a iPad or similar for voice during the visit. Maybe some of your rescue folks, church folks, etc. Just about anyone, seems to me sitting there alone and hurting is just not good for you.

Keep up the healing and hopefully it can even accelerate. Sympathy on the radiation I don't do well in confinement. I am bad enough I prefer the open to a garage at Grattan, makes me get like a cat on a tin roof being confined.

 

Oh and the local minor league team https://trashpandas.milbstore.com

 

I'm with Papa. Lots of good meds and therapy out there that may help. Stress from PTSD isn't going to do your body any good while it's trying to heal. Seroquel, Trazadone, Gabapentin, etc. may help. They're not benzodiazepines so no / low risk of addiction. Just a though, and it's non of my business.

Keep on keeping on. You're about to lap Chris.

 

And sunshine. Just sitting in the sun for a while can help.

 

Happy Friday Speedy! How ya doing?

 

Thank you Brother. I been wanting to respond to you for days, but due to ptsd and being on an emotional rollercoaster, I have to carefully pick the right time to respond. You can ask/suggest anything to me, The beeb is my extended family. I appreciate the thougvhts, the suggestions, the caring I took your advice and have been going outside w/ my pooch for maybe 5-minutes 2x a day to get some sun. TY.
I want to thank you and every single beeber that has shown me friendship/love/compassion during this. I often/daily re-read the thread/comments, to uplift my thoughts.

Great update for Friday, yesterday. And I'll also post some non-needed details/explanations, so some stuff can get laid to rest, as I don't want my current problems/circumstances to become a daily wo-is-me-bitching-Blog.
Everyone on here has their own set of problems, medicals, daily struggles, challenges, fears, etc.....Many, that make my situation look like I skinned my knee on the playground. I understand everyone out there is either going through something Hard, or has made it through something, or maybe is even living a daily challenge forever. On a scale of 1-10, I put my current problems at a 2.5, w ptsd making it feel like a self-absorbed 25,

Thursday was a 50/50 mental struggle.....But Yesterday (Friday) was Great.
Went w/ my Mom to her office, so she could prep my teeth for radiation. I know my Mom, I know all the people she works with (all nice), I know the building/office, so I am very comfortable there, mentally safe there. I knew what she was going to do to me beforehand, and none of it was a big deal, so no ptsd problems.
Basically, just spent the day in a good environment w/ my Moms <3




"Thumbs up!!!!!!!"


My 'C-PTSD' bag, loaded w/ the security-blanket beeber BigBird sent me, My Eeyore, and panic attack/ptsd meds and prescription pain pills. Was such a good/safe day w/ my mom, never had to open the emergency bag

The Cancer:
From what I am peicing together from multiple Dr's/surgeons comments, and from now being slightly able to move my tongue enuff to feel sutures/etc, and from swelling going down enuff to see more stuff, and able to move my arms shoulders enuff to almost reach around my head, I am figuring out what they did. I think. I might be off on bits/pieces.

For one, they said even after 2-different hospitals and multiple pre-surgery biopsies, they still didint know/understand what it was, or maybe they knew what it was, but couldnt figure out why it was jumping everywhere. ??? It seemed to be super fast growing too.
Post surgery pathology says they removed ALL the cancer!!! YAY!!!!
More post surgery pathology multiple- markers says C is/will coming back.....so they must radiate/chemo to stave it off. :Thumbup:

The Work:
First off, I want to Thank EVERY SINGLE person in the medical field around the world.
These people have dedicated their lives to help/save/comfort people in need.....I dont care how much $ someone make, how expensive their car/house/etc, their is no greater selfless act, than dedicating your hearty/soul to help others. I have never met so many kind caring people in my life.
Also, I thank all the surgeons, for saving my life. I also understand, that saving my life comes way before how I will look afterwards. The surgeon's GOAL is to save you, then secondary is adjusting to the unfortunate damage. Death is final, physical damage may be final, but you are still alive <3 So no complaints are meant in what I will write.
I was sliced from a couple inches behind each ear, from one point to another.
My lower lip was split/sliced to the adams apple area, where all 3 cuts met.
My lower face and upper neck was peeled off.
My lower jaw was cut into sections and removed, modified and re-installed.
Both R&L lymphnoids completely removed. One dr told me R-lymph had Large chicken egg and couple golf balls in it (I was experiencing what felt like an ice pick jammed down my ear-drum for many months before finding/surgery).
Tongue removed, new tongue and vascular-system manufactured from left forearm and wrist. I can only stick my tongue out like 3/8", but it looks fresh/pink like a Baby's tongue, hahaha. Brand new
Multiple types of tonsils removed.
Throat rebuilt/modified.
Skin graphs.
Trachea'd. I could pinch my nose and close my mouth and still breath fine, lol. Trachea getting clogged/dirty/etc on a normal, no fun. Gurgling/chocking/etc. You couldnt talk because the windpipe was cut. When I PTSD flipped in the middle of the night, I had a nurse holding my hand and listening to me screaming about what my employers had done to me, to give me ptsd, total ptsd attack.....I was so loud they could hear what I was screaming on the entire ICU floor.....she said she never seen anyone able to talk w/ a trachea. My lungs where kickin' 600-psi to get those words outta my mouth. Felt good to name names to a nurse/stranger (which I am still too scared to do).

The damagese:
Left forearm, I physically can hardly look at it. I will have to cover it in public w/a tattoo-sleeve-cover when dust settles and I am back in population. Weak at the wrist and some finger control that will both need to be worked on. No worries. Thank surgeons/God for new tongue.
Right fingers/hand/forearm.....Numb, Burn like FIRE, restricted-movments/control. I work on it later, either way, no biggie. No strenth at wrist. Both wrists fold/break/give when trying to climb into bed.
Left quad, left/outer half.....numb, burns like fire. I dont care. Right quad, some numb, not near as much.
Peircing headaches exactly where egg-tumors used to be. They will go away, or I will stock up on asprin
Lower lip numb and distorted internally , and has a Syvester Stallone droopy thing going on, haha. When I drink I drool like I have a hole in my lower lip. 'napkin' is the fix.
Still working on talking correctly, getting better.
Not a lot of jaw/mouth movement yet. Still liquid diet, blending soups/etc. If I chop up some spaggettios, so I can get them down, I will pay that night in pain.
Throat swollen/sore....restricted breathing, sometime get into gaging fits. Neck looks like 300-psi been pumped into it. Feels like I am being chocked by a 200-lb chick, and I have forgot my safe-word. Scary, breathing restricted + ptsd-panic (hyperventalating/etc) = scary, I keep focusing/trying to meditate and it will eventually de-swell and get better. It is getting better, just forcing/fighting to stay calm.
Literally feels like my head/neck was surgically removed and re-installed....Very CREEPY feeling, very weak neck, very tender/pain.....very small movements, try to keep head balanced/lighty and reduce neck muscle stress. Car rides to Dr's/hospitals/etc, neck/shoulder pain.

All/most pain will eventually go away, i can put a numb right hand to good use (Thanks Papa), and the rest of it is just what it is.....They saved my life, and I am happy (today) and thankfull to God, all medical people, and beeb/local friends.

When the chemo/radiation is eventually over, I can concentrate on 100% beating this C-PTSD, and get back to my old self, who I dearly miss.

Too much info, too long of a post, all I talked about was me, lotta comnpainin' etc, etc.....I just wanted to write as much as I could from my heart, give as much mechanical info, while I was calm and not ptsd'ing. Sorry for the long narcissistic writeup. I dont think there is anything left to post, other than Thank you's, to you guys.

Thank you everyone !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Damn! You are super strong man! Keep up the good vibes.

 

Love and Miss you, Scott! When I beat the C-PTSD completely, we will reconnect.....like we never missed a beat <3

 

So glad you're getting through this, and I don't even "know" you. I've always said: if you think you've got problems, look around, there is always someone who's got it worse. I haven't always been a 'positive' person but I always see that keeping a positive outlook helps a lot more. God Bless.

 

<3

 

I was thinking what does Speedy E and Chicken Legs need for their stays. Hmmmm, George needs a Sousaphone and Speedy could use a marching bass drum. They could march up and down the hall ways together to practice for when we form the BBS marching band.

 

I'm a keyboard guy
Broome get a free/loaner Tambourine

 

That's funny, since I played both of those in school.

 

You’re killing this Speedy! I’ve always thought I was pretty tough, but you’re clearly a baddass! I’ve no doubt that when you get your strength back, you’re going to kick PTSD’s ass!

 

A grown man walking around terrified & clutching/petting a stuffed animal.....and I'm too insane to be embarrassed, LOL.

Thank you so Very much Brother, thank you so much! <3 All of this helps more than anyone knows <3