Pork is not gonna kill me unless they figure a way to shoot it out of a gun!

Taking a break from work I wandered out to enjoy the nice temperatures and have a smoke. It's not raining, it's like 60 and that nice marlboro taste is taking me one step closer to death's sweet embrace when I saw him coming. Oh f@ck!

<dude> "nice day."
<me full of dread> "Yeap." (taking a drag off my smoke)
<dude now jogging in place a few feet from me> "Nice day for a jog and exercise."
<me> "I guess if you say so."
<Dude> "Hey, you know I run half marathons."
<Me> "That's nice, I don't."
<dude now looking at my smoke>"hey, you know you can't run half marathons if you smoke. I also. . .
<me now smelling stupid on him and ready to go for blood> "shave your legs?"
<Dude> "Shave my legs? No, I also. . ."
<me> "Ride a unicycle?"
<Dude still jobbing all this time> "No! I also. . ."
<me> "juggle? compost? like musicals?"
<dude now getting upset> "NoIcrossfit" (said as one word so I can't guess anymore)
<me> "how could I have guessed that? Does your unicycle riding help with that? Can you juggle while riding the unicycle."
<dude> "I said I cross fit! I don't ride no unicycle! I run half marathons!"
<me> "at the same time?"
<dude now mad> "I was just trying to help you out! Smoking is bad! I run marathons! I crossfit! I. . ."
<me> "juggle while riding a unicycle? You like a professional clown or still in clown college?"
<dude running away> "F@ck you, just f@ck you!"
<me waving> "good luck with all that clown college stuff, and shaving your legs."

 

maybe he just mistook you for a child

 

Do you realize how much sugar is in that Kool-Aid?

 

the end

 

Do you know how much blood is in the human body?

 

You punk-ass punk !

 

Enough to pop that hose size blood vessel in your head if you let it.
Love your interactions with the general populace Dave...rock on.

 

Dave needs his own reality show.

 

I'm not sure what Dave needs, but I'm pretty sure it ain't his own show!

 

About 5 quarts, if I remember 6th grade science correctly. (It's been over 50 years, so I may be wrong, but it sounds good).

 

Reference this threads title:

Pork is a verb

That is all

 

All lies. Dave K is in sales. Sales guys don't "work". They stand around and bs, expense huge dinners, and rack up frequent flyer points.