Looking for a better return on investment?

A lot of people have taken a beating on their investments in recent days but this graphic shows that it's always best to invest in things you know.

http://flickr.com/photos/26810211@N06/2921978491/sizes/o/

 

and some art investor might want to buy the beer car for $100K. beer is the way to go :up::up:

 

Newcastle.

 

Damn I'm rich! I just need to find the nearest recycling center.

 

$1,000 Lap Dance Defies the Market Slide
By Jennifer 8. Lee

The implosion of the financial markets seems to mark the twilight of the second gilded age. History may look back with scorn at $30,000 couches, $600-an-hour therapists, $25,000 hot chocolates and super Sweet 16 parties.

The Wall Street folks, you'd think, seem to be saying goodbye to all that.

Except, apparently, in one area: strip clubs (or “gentlemen's clubs,” as they like to brand themselves).

“Since the market has been going down, our business has been going up — it's unbelievable,” said Sam Zherka, the owner of the V.I.P. Club in Chelsea, who estimates that about 80 percent of his clients are Wall Street types. (You'd think the lawsuits would have dampened that, but it seems fine as long as they're not entertaining clients on their work-related expense accounts.)

Mr. Zherka added, “A lot of guys are losing their shirts in the market, and they are coming in droves.”

Business is up around 20 percent, he estimated, even though he does not advertise atop taxicabs.

“We're an upscale gentleman's club,” he said disdainfully.

In a moment of shrewd business, perhaps, Mr. Zherka and the club decided to introduce a premium product: the $1,000 lap dance package.

The package will buy a 20-minute lap dance, a bottle of Dom Pérignon and a private Champagne room. Not to mention, as Mr. Zherka did, they also “get to keep the girl's G-strings.”

That raised eyebrows. Does she take off the G-string there (seems illegal), and if not, how does the customer know it's really the G-string she was wearing?

Mr. Zherka replied: “She can't take off the G-string in the room with the guy. She has to go out to the locker room and take it off.”

But management, he assured, was going to reinforce the G-string distribution. (Apparently, the G-string is even going to be autographed, as amNewYork noted this morning.)

What is the normal rate for a lap dance at V.I.P. Club?

It's $20 for a song, or about three minutes of lap dancing, Mr. Zherka said.

A quick calculation showed that the lap “dancee” could get more than 20 minutes of lap dancing for only $140.

Mr. Zherka responded: “Yeah, right. But you are not getting the G-string, you are not getting the bottle of Dom Pérignon and you are not getting the Champagne room.”

Still, is there really a market for this? Why not just start with the $100 or $500 lap dance?

That is where the market seemed to be heading. “A lot of people are coming in and spending $2,000 and $5,000 and $10,000,” Mr. Zherka said. “They are spending like they are making millions and millions of dollars. I don't know if they are depressed or what.”

As one former dancer observed, if a stripper is doing her job right, the patron's bald spot, his mortgage (and maybe even his huge portfolio losses) cease to exist. He enters an adolescent fantasy of sexual prowess, temporarily transformed into James Bond, Han Solo and Hugh Hefner rolled into one. The dancer makes believe she is the prom queen who ignored them in high school.

The business is recession-proof, Mr. Zherka argued. “If you want a hamburger and you want to cut back on spending, you can always make the dinner at home.”

In contrast, he argued, you couldn't get the dancing almost-nude women at home.

Well, couldn't a man get your girlfriend or wife to do it? After all, pole dancing has been making its way into the book club set.

“Yeah, you can get a woman, but you can't get women,” Mr. Zherka said.

Not that the hamburger analogy should imply women are meat, or anything.