Divorce help - God Damn Epidemic

What you are asking for is noble , but without a written psychological assessment of what you described and how it could harm your kid, I see no chance on getting this through.

Maybe instead of trying to focus on what’s wrong with the ex, try to point out why more time with you is better for the child

 

You having alcohol or sumptin?

 

In court, it’s not what you think but what you can prove.

 

I wouldn’t ask her to do anything I am not willing to do myself.

As to enforcement - yeah, it isn’t something that’s easy to enforce, but if I can gain agreement, then I have a starting point. The Germans view agreements and contracts as sacred

The age limitation is a great idea. I just want to get through the stage where a young child would be susceptible to embarrassment or threats that would keep her from telling me if something bad happens.

 

Actually, I do plan on putting some clearly unreasonable demands in there, so she can insist they be removed. If I don’t, she will be looking for them.

 

smat

 

I’m curious, unreasonable demands, such as? The whole court process is a money pit. Why waste the time & money?

 

She focuses on those, gets the win, doesn't focus so much on what's really important to him.

 

me or him?

yes on my part. there's happy hour at the hotel here and in mexico you don't only drink one tequila.

so double turns into quadruple. or so.

 

Yep.

More important than money.

 

Sounds good but my lawyer kept me grounded and focused through the ordeal. Maybe the woman’s experience maybe different for that tactic to work.

 

Actually, it’s one of those type of days here at work and that post should have been sent to my cousin in reference to plans for this weekend.
He who fails to plan blah, blah, blah!

 

And me too - it's after 5pm here, and hot (again), so I'm drinking a beer on the balcony.

I'm one piece of clothing away from FKK

 

The way it works here is that if we agree on a custody plan prior to the divorce, it can be included in the divorce decree unchanged, as long as there is nothing in it that is illegal.

 

Do they have indecent exposure charges in Germany?

 

Same here but as my lawyer described our case, we had a highly contested divorce.
Judge had to sift through her BS. I walked out of court with more than I walked in with. The only thing I didn’t get and would have considered it a true victory is if I received the “tie breaker” call.
But in the end that doesn’t mean too much. In the end you’re only fighting in most cases for 10 years or so, at least in my case. The kids will then be old enough to make some of their own decisions.

 

Nope

 

Works in your favor.

 

Unlike the US, the divorce process here is very straightforward and highly controlled. Unless there are truly egregious circumstances (sexual or physical abuse, criminal activity), the process is clear, the fees are fixed, and the outcome is predetermined. Basically, you cannot claim adultery or other crimes of moral turpitude as extenuating circumstances. The only reason for divorce here is the equivalent of, "irreconcilable differences."

If the wife works, or is capable of working, alimony or shares in future wealth potential are NOT awarded. Child support payments are based on current salary, not on assets or future earnings potential, and go by an official table (Düsseldorfer Tabelle) to calculate the exact amount. Judges and lawyers are not permitted to change any of this.

Even in contested divorces, the usual result is that each party hires a lawyer, but the end is the same. The parties to the divorce are strongly encouraged to come to agreements before the decree is finalized, and the lawyers work toward that instead of trying to present a "best case" in front of the judge.

The irony is that if my wife had chosen to divorce me in Tennessee, rather than here, she probably would have come out much better off, due to the fact that I had a much higher income and more assets in the US than I have here now, and the tendency for US family court judges to award more to wives/mothers than to husbands/fathers. As it is, I can claim part of my wife's German pension in the divorce proceeding, due to the fact that the first 18 months we lived here she was working, and I was not.

 

In A’murica that’s called marital award. Ask me how I know .