Amusing Covid19 Stories

a guy who shits his pants? probably that Kaitlin Bennett chick... who also amusingly enough, also shits her pants.

 

If only this guy had a better defense attorney

 

A couple of years ago I was a practicing vegan/vegetarian, and didn't know that I had a processed soy sensitivity (think soy milk, tofu, etc). I now know where every public access restroom is (with TP) within a nine mile radius and would plan my running route to be within yards of each restroom in three mile segments. I also noted construction sites with unlocked porta potties. I have since learned to reduce my processed soy intake, which is hard with a Chinese wife and daughter who both love their tofu.

Butt* in the moment, a couple of blocks can be the difference between failure and success (your choice on the definition of each).

(*Tip o' the hat to PC Bob)

 

And another thread goes to shit.

 

Not going to derail this thread but this gives me an idea for another one.

Edit: I caught up and am now aware that this is a different thread already.

 

I was some how thinking that he was gonna use the IBS as part of his law suit. Dude needs to go pound sand cause he ain’t got a leg to stand on.

 

Ok, that’s funny.

 

Just had a lady melt down and scream at me for buying "excessive amounts" of toilet paper and she couldn't get any and no one had any and I bought it all and some other crazy made up shit by a nutjob.

"Um, what? Lady, what are you asking or saying?"
"I have kids and need toilet paper and you came in and bought it all and there's no more in the the store and. . ."
"Lady, if you'd shut the fuck up I'd tell you the secret to getting a 20 pack of port of john grade 1 ply."
"I'm listening!"
"Go to the paper towel aisle, walk about half way down, look on the bottom shelf and you'll see it. You then pick it up, put it in the cart, shut the fuck up and go check out."
"What? Why are you being a jerk? There is none and you took it all!"
"Lady, there's a bunch of it, if you'd shut your trap and listen you'd find it. I think there's also a few better grade packs. Did you look in the paper towel aisle?"
"I don't want paper towels!!! I need to wipe my ass, not clean wipe up spills."
"Good luck, dumb ass."

 

I can say the amount of spam email I receive has dramatically dropped. Damn near nothing in the last couple days. Maybe this thing targets assholes

 

Except for the spam from companies telling me how they are looking out for the public health...and not so much of that lately.

 

Welcome to old age.