I was just at work dropping a deuce, no courtesy flush. I like the guys at work to guess what I had for dinner. I had no practice this morning and felt if I'd had a few warmup laps on the throne I'd have been a little looser. No worries, I laid down some fine darkies exiting the corners. So I reach down to pull Burt's bees out of my pocket, (cause what better than an orgasm on your lips while going twenty toes with the stall door) and I see this spider walking towards me. I'm a lover not a fighter, and this dude looked serious. So here was the dilemma, rush a wipe and get up and carry this guy outside, or just let it crawl up my leg. Instinct took over and I squashed the shit out of it. I must have blatantly kicked up some red dust, cause mongo had me called in for a ride through. I used pit-bull toilet paper(contingency purposes, it wont take stank off), so that's 3 products, not just 2, and I captioned another post. As I got up and viewed my amazingness covered by only a little water, I saw a note in the toilet. It said "mmfoor passed 5,000 post, Who gives a shit?". I thought to myself, "me I guess, cause I literally gave a shit". So I signed my name. True story.
You don't need to come in here and talk trash about pit-bull toilet paper. They make the best product out there, it will take your stank off and will still be taking stank off your grandkids when you're long gone! Not like those copy-cat toilet papers that will leave you fingering yourself the 2nd time you use it!
