Star Wars Spoiler Thread - Don't Click if you don't wanna know

I got ya beat. Just Red Box'd it last night. I was less than impressed

Best...
-- Rey. Smoking hot and a great character. However, I was disappointed they didn't get her into better outfits the way they did Natalie Portman (full white spandex FTW).
--Rey's awakening. When she realizes she has The Force, it was the highlight for me. Then she beats down Emo Boy. Classic.
--Millennium Falcon flying/fight scenes (minus Top Gun "I'm hitting the brakes, he'll fly right by"). Great job by the special effects team.
--Bar scene with the countless crazy aliens - A+ to the costume dept with those.
--Cliffhanger not letting us know who Rey is from.
--Solo calling FN "Big Deal". One of the better schticks.
--BB8. Lovable from the beginning. Can't wait to see that little ball of chaos in the next one.

Worst...
--NO YODA AT ALL???????? WTF?????? HE......IS......STAR WARS!!!!!!
--Storyline identical to the very first SW. Desert planet with an awkward loner that turns out to be a Jedi and an air strike to blow up the current Death Star. Been there, done that.
--No blue milk?
--Luke is literally the last Jedi in the Solar System? I'll just quote Roadhouse: "Damn, boy, I thought you were good."
--This one hurt - Han and Leia. The only thing missing was 2 walkers with tennis balls on the legs, pureed food and a CNA to change their diapers. Just wow.
--Speaking of Han. That's the best death scene we could do for one of the most iconic characters in all of moviedom?
--Kylo Ren. Seriously?? They're hanging the franchise on an Emo cutter with an asymmetric face?? Again, just wow.
--Speaking of depression. R2D2 in a low power state due to depression. Wut?
--FN. Weak, weak, weak character. Round, fat face and clumsy.
--Supreme Leader. This franchise is built on cool names, and that's what we got? A giant Gollum as a hologram? Ugh.
--Using the sun to fuel their power ray planet blower upper. L M F A O.
--As always, when not shooting villagers, the highly trained Storm Troopers (from birth) can't hit the side of the Death Star. LOL

Finally, Luke. He is somehow so overbearing that he pushes his nephew to become a killing machine for the enemy. In the last scene, he's standing there like he's surprised to see Rey. I guess he can't see things before they happen the way he used to? I swear I saw an Aricept bottle sitting on the ledge close by.

 

You do know he's dead, right? You probably aren't going to like the next movie much either if that's your #1 gripe.

Vader showed up, though. Kinda.

 

I thought they "become more powerful" when they die? Can a brutha' get a dead Yoda hologram or suh'in?

 

Aslo, it baffles me that the designers of the Death Stars are so frickin' smart that they can harness the power of the sun, yet can't build a defense system that can't stop a simple X Wing fighter. And this has now happened TWICE! Did the New Order not hear about the other tunnel guided weakness?!? LOL

 

You got the next best thing to Yoda - "Butthole Eyes". She looks like E.T.'s granny to me...

 

Finally watched it last night. You are dead on the mark with ET.

 

Use the force dorks

 

Looks like Huey and Mongo.

 

"Butthole Eyes". Lol

 

May the 4th
be with you.

 

Ade Edmonson is rumored to be in Episode 8. That's Vivian from "The Young Ones"!

 

Just saw Laura Dern is supposed to play some high ranking Rebel officer in Ep8

 

I had to google. I can't believe it's been 23 years since Jurassic Park.

 

She's definitely no spring chicken

 

I saw the second trailer for Rogue One... And now I have a new rant...

When did this become "Deadbeat Dad Wars"?

Anakin didn't have one (so his mom says...)
Boba's dad went an' got his head lopped off after flying his son into a war zone (father of the year)
Luke didn't know his... Cuz he was murdering err'thang in the galaxy...
Rey don't know hers...
Han didn't hug his little shit enough.... So now we have "Emo Solo" to deal with...
Now new girl's dad apparently designed and/or built the Death Star...

Yoda's dad was probably a womanizer and pimp/drug user... Next anthology film, maybe..,

 

Yet it still looks like a fantastic movie. Really looking forward to this one.

 

Don't come in here and ruin my edgy, insightful comedy... I think it looks awesome...

 

I couldn't resist, sorry. Beyond that, you don't think I could leave you with credit for that, right?

 

Rogue 1 has gotten better and better looking with each trailer they've released. We now know that Vader and Mon Mothma are both in it. I'm wondering if they'll be pulling any more name brand characters out of left field for cameos.

 

I just couldn't believe another "dad" story in the second trailer... Can't a brotha get a motha up in this galaxy?

I was on board with the first couple of trailers. I love the one where the screen goes black, then air raid siren, then they flash short images of the Death Star.