Just found out the wife ran up some serious credit card debt

Possible option if you have good credit- I've mentioned before on here Lightstream loans. They have very different rates for different loans, but the best rates are for a new or used car from a dealer. Thing is, these are UNSECURED loans (meaning they don't hold the title) and they do nothing to verify what you actually did with the loan. I've financed 2 of my cars and 1 of my wife's (back when her credit was not as good) and they just send a check and never asked for any kind of proof that we actually bought cars. I just looked, and current rates are 5.99% on a $50K loan for up to 60 months.

 

Well of course it is. They depend on that interest and late fees.

 

I am all for financial well being, and coming from the softball world, Club >>>> Rec. The intensity and level of the players are much better on club teams. But yeah, it's expensive. My daughter with her club team winter training became a much better player by time spring came. But if rec is practicing all the time, then that may be cool too. all depends on how much they enjoy it.

 

Please explain how doubling the debt was her fault when collectively you BOTH neglected to reduce it to zero the first time around.
You abdicated responsibility to her to manage money. That's not a partnership.
She was neglectful about not saying what was happening. That's not a partnership.

You both have the opportunity to strengthen your relationship with each other against a common enemy: Debt.

You putting separation on the table seems like a cheap trick to avoid responsibility and ownership of your part of the joint debt.

 

It read to me like it was put on the table as a potential consequence of not fully committing to a plan to fix things, not as punishment for what has already happened.

 

Agreed, but in my daughter's case she went from being an MVP in school/rec basketball to less so on traveling teams. Her interest in playing at all was waning by the time her health issues made running and jumping a thing of the past.

 

Appreciate it, as I do all the responses on here. By "big hurry" I mean 18-24 months max. I've run the numbers and at least on paper it works out that would could knock it out in 18 months. That's if we get insane with selling everything, taking her $8K bonus and tax refund and putting that towards it. Could probably pay $1500/month out of our monthly income, that's 18K right there. But, on paper and actually DOING IT are two different things, I know this. And, you can damn well guarantee I'm handing everything financial from here on out. Prior to us getting married I paid off all my student loans 22K and had no debt with average income. I can get it done, I just need to not be complacent and lazy as I have been these last few years.

 

Different reads, still seems like a cheap trick to avoid responsibility regardless if it's punitive (past) or punitive (future)

 

You mean my daughter would be happier not playing club soccer? There's a lot of truth to that actually but I'm not 100% sure, would have to talk to her. There's a lot of pride I know playing for her club and she's pretty good. (well, all those kids are) But, she's not terribly close with the girls on her team (she's 11) and has much better friends at school. I suspect she would be just fine playing on another team for a year.

 

Only time I would refinance home is to get shorter term or lower rate.
2nd mtg or equity are high, quick search showed close to 10%. Not that much better than personal loan.

 

Dont mean to be disrespectful, but what is IF about it?
Right now I feel horrible about your situation, but if you get an end of year bonus and use for something else other than paying off this debt with insane interest rate, I wouldnt feel bad anymore.

 

With high CC debt, your rate on a home equity loan may be lower, but it isn't going to be stellar.

 

It's not 100% her fault. She ran up 98% of the CC debt total. Not on lavish items but eating out/fast food, family stuff and probably some clothes etc. I'm absolutely at fault for not being involved intimately in our finances and letting this get out of hand. It is a partnership and we both are absolutely responsible.

 

Well, I guess I typed "if" but I promise you, it's 100% going towards debt. There's no question about it.

 

This is correct. I don't want divorce and it's not punishment for what's happened already. I'm willing to work to dig out but we all have to be on board. But yes, I communicated that if this happens again, we will simply have no choice but to go our separate ways.

 

We could get a 40K HELOC at 1.99% for the first 6 months. Goes to 6.8 after that variable, max 12. Current credit cards are from 18 to 26 right now. Monthly payments go from $1600 to $400. Would put the $1200 difference every month towards the HELOC balance.

 

This is less of a specific question of your situation and more from the racer's perspective. But I don't know how people that don't race motorcycle run up bills like this without a multitude of red lights going off in their spouses head? That is a lot of $ going out with seemingly nothing to show for it. For example, it makes sense if somebody maxed out their credit to buy a brand new truck that sits in the driveway. You can see why they're broke. But eating out and buying clothes? Like isn't the closet over flowing with clothes?

 

The way rates are trending now you'd be nuts to get a variable rate loan