"Meant for each other" isn't for everybody. Sometimes you have other things to consider than your fairy tale. But counseling isn't about making somebody who doesn't want you, want you. It's about clearing out the garbage that's caused the problems that are hurting your relationship. It's VERY easy to get complacent and let a little issue grow into a huge, festering, puss filled wound. Think of counseling as cleaning and applying medicine to that wound instead of hacking off the entire limb.
Lt. Frank Drebin: You know, sometimes I envy you and Edna. You have the same person every day for over 30 years. You wake up, eat with her, sleep with her. Make love to the same woman. [Ed looks increasingly disgusted as Frank goes on] Lt. Frank Drebin: You spend every possible waking moment together, while I'm out running around with a bunch of 20-year-olds who only want a good time and cheap sex sex sex. Girls who can't say no. Girls who can't get enough. "More, more, more. It's your turn now to wear the handcuffs... " [Ed starts foaming at the mouth... literally] Lt. Frank Drebin: I just want love, Ed. Ed Hocken: I'm sure you'll... find love, Frank.
21 years, you're both due for some strange. Ever consider swapping? Your wife into electricians? You dig on pregnant firefighters?
She would whip your ass. She has a body most 19 y.o. would kill for. (Less the fake tits ) Nazif's Pants would be lucky if she would allow them to cover her tushy
My parents divorce never bothered me. Once i was older I was floored Dad took as long as he did to run for the hills
I vote go for the counseling, maybe it'll help her to stop bottling things up and be fine with hurting your feelings, and help you with the new dynamic of being told when you're being a dick. One thing Evelyne I have always done on that score is be honest with each other. I know people at the races have gotten pissed at me when I vent to her in public but she knows me and knows if I don't vent things are going to get bad. Venting isn't personal and she's my wife, she's my go to for venting. Just as I am when she needs to. We will bitch at each other when the little things bug us, not when they turn into big things. Our relationship has had ups and downs and we go through times where life in general sucks, even more so because we're both so tied into the same business for our total income. If one is having trouble at work we both are. Anyway, I would say yes do counseling. It sounds like she needs to change how she deals with stress and you're going to need to learn how to deal with those changes - as long as she's willing to go to. If she's already out then not much you can do.
The counselor isn't saying he's a douche run away. They are not an enemy, they will not take sides even if it seems that way.
*this* +20,000. Lack of communication results in all kinds of problems. I am unsure of why so many people are down on couples counseling. If it gets bad you get two cards...therapy or divorce, who on earth would just rather walk away? I don't understand it I guess.
It's funny, I never discount divorce, think staying together for the chilluns is idiotic and so on. But I also waited to get married until I knew it was the right person because to me it's not an option. I don't make promises lightly and sure as hell not that one. If she wises up so be it but I'm not going anywhere, I said I wouldn't. That and I'm stubborn
It's funny how the discussion to this point had never even considered the vows part. I'm with you, not going anywhere, no how. That's my excuse for the 5 year courtship when she reminds me of my slow-to-show commitment.
Learn how to do this. If you haven't had formal training in it, you likely have no idea how to do it. Very few people are born with it. able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen able to sincerely listen