All knowing been. Has marriage counseling ever worked?

Discussion in 'General' started by Fencer, Jun 9, 2015.

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  1. ryoung57

    ryoung57 Off his meds

    "Meant for each other" isn't for everybody. Sometimes you have other things to consider than your fairy tale. But counseling isn't about making somebody who doesn't want you, want you. It's about clearing out the garbage that's caused the problems that are hurting your relationship. It's VERY easy to get complacent and let a little issue grow into a huge, festering, puss filled wound. Think of counseling as cleaning and applying medicine to that wound instead of hacking off the entire limb.
     
    ryoung57, Jun 10, 2015
    #121
  2. R Acree

    R Acree Banned

    Counseling is what you have to do if you don't do proper preventative maintenance.:D
     
    R Acree, Jun 10, 2015
    #122
  3. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner



    Lt. Frank Drebin: You know, sometimes I envy you and Edna. You have the same person every day for over 30 years. You wake up, eat with her, sleep with her. Make love to the same woman.

    [Ed looks increasingly disgusted as Frank goes on]

    Lt. Frank Drebin: You spend every possible waking moment together, while I'm out running around with a bunch of 20-year-olds who only want a good time and cheap sex sex sex. Girls who can't say no. Girls who can't get enough. "More, more, more. It's your turn now to wear the handcuffs... "

    [Ed starts foaming at the mouth... literally]

    Lt. Frank Drebin: I just want love, Ed.

    Ed Hocken: I'm sure you'll... find love, Frank.
     
    SPL170db, Jun 10, 2015
    #123
  4. pickled egg

    pickled egg There is no “try”

    21 years, you're both due for some strange. Ever consider swapping?

    Your wife into electricians? You dig on pregnant firefighters? :D
     
    pickled egg, Jun 10, 2015
    #124
  5. ClemsonsR6

    ClemsonsR6 Well-Known Member

    :Pop: :Pop: :Pop: :Pop:
     
    ClemsonsR6, Jun 10, 2015
    #125
  6. Fencer

    Fencer Well-Known Member

    She would whip your ass.

    She has a body most 19 y.o. would kill for. (Less the fake tits ):D

    Nazif's Pants would be lucky if she would allow them to cover her tushy
     
    Fencer, Jun 10, 2015
    #126
  7. Mongo

    Mongo Administrator

    My parents divorce never bothered me. Once i was older I was floored Dad took as long as he did to run for the hills :D
     
    Mongo, Jun 10, 2015
    #127
  8. CausticYarn

    CausticYarn I’m just here for the food.

    I'll take the wife, you two can have each other.
     
    CausticYarn, Jun 10, 2015
    #128
  9. R Acree

    R Acree Banned

    And Caustic kicks it into 11th gear.
     
    R Acree, Jun 10, 2015
    #129
  10. Mongo

    Mongo Administrator

    I vote go for the counseling, maybe it'll help her to stop bottling things up and be fine with hurting your feelings, and help you with the new dynamic of being told when you're being a dick.

    One thing Evelyne I have always done on that score is be honest with each other. I know people at the races have gotten pissed at me when I vent to her in public but she knows me and knows if I don't vent things are going to get bad. Venting isn't personal and she's my wife, she's my go to for venting. Just as I am when she needs to. We will bitch at each other when the little things bug us, not when they turn into big things. Our relationship has had ups and downs and we go through times where life in general sucks, even more so because we're both so tied into the same business for our total income. If one is having trouble at work we both are.

    Anyway, I would say yes do counseling. It sounds like she needs to change how she deals with stress and you're going to need to learn how to deal with those changes - as long as she's willing to go to. If she's already out then not much you can do.
     
    Mongo, Jun 10, 2015
    #130
  11. Mongo

    Mongo Administrator

    The counselor isn't saying he's a douche run away. They are not an enemy, they will not take sides even if it seems that way.
     
    Mongo, Jun 10, 2015
    #131
  12. pickled egg

    pickled egg There is no “try”

    Dude, ease off on the hard sell. Makes you look desperate. :D
     
    pickled egg, Jun 10, 2015
    #132
  13. pickled egg

    pickled egg There is no “try”

    Oh sure, *now* you're into chicks... :tut:
     
    pickled egg, Jun 10, 2015
    #133
  14. Mongo

    Mongo Administrator

    Totally disagree. Counseling is about communication, something a LOT of people suck at.
     
    Mongo, Jun 10, 2015
    #134
  15. CausticYarn

    CausticYarn I’m just here for the food.

    *this* +20,000.

    Lack of communication results in all kinds of problems.

    I am unsure of why so many people are down on couples counseling. If it gets bad you get two cards...therapy or divorce, who on earth would just rather walk away? I don't understand it I guess.
     
    CausticYarn, Jun 10, 2015
    #135
  16. Mongo

    Mongo Administrator

    It's funny, I never discount divorce, think staying together for the chilluns is idiotic and so on. But I also waited to get married until I knew it was the right person because to me it's not an option. I don't make promises lightly and sure as hell not that one. If she wises up so be it but I'm not going anywhere, I said I wouldn't. That and I'm stubborn :D
     
    Mongo, Jun 10, 2015
    #136
  17. dsapsis

    dsapsis El Jefe de los Monos

    It's funny how the discussion to this point had never even considered the vows part. I'm with you, not going anywhere, no how. That's my excuse for the 5 year courtship when she reminds me of my slow-to-show commitment. :D
     
    dsapsis, Jun 10, 2015
    #137
  18. Banditracer

    Banditracer Dogs - because people suck

    :crackup::crackup:
     
    Banditracer, Jun 10, 2015
    #138
  19. Venom51

    Venom51 John Deere Equipment Expert - Not really

    She's apparently always been into chicks. She said yes to you didn't she?
     
    Venom51, Jun 10, 2015
    #139
  20. Knotcher

    Knotcher Well-Known Member

    Learn how to do this. If you haven't had formal training in it, you likely have no idea how to do it. Very few people are born with it.

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    Knotcher, Jun 10, 2015
    #140
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