Warning: Read before you decide to go full retard today.

I thought I'd warn you now that I'm in a bad, no make that, a wretched
mood today.

So, don't poke me with your stupid stick.

Dave K

 

Would you rather be poked with something that ryhmes with stick?

 

Leave Stickboy out of this. He's a good guy that's just tryin' to make a livin'.

 

like when a woman says "stay away from me during my time of the month"

GMAFB.

triple

 

What happened to lohan now?

 

She got a restraining order against him.

 

Serious question: how many "full retards" put any thought into their decisions to go "full retard"?

That's like telling 2fer to stop posting.

 

But Dave, you're always such a nice guy, what could possibly happen to make you grumpy?

Glad you asked.

The day was not good to start but that's life. Spent about 40 minutes at the bank handling wire transfers, no big deal. Mom's fridge shit the bed and I've got to buy her one, that's cool. Lawson got candy for Christmas and Sam hid it on me even though I promised I wasn't going to eat it (but we all know I fully planned on eating it). fine and goodly.

BUT!!!

I ran to Walgreens after the bank to get some Tums (which I seem to be eating by the fistful anymore) and I saw they had jumbo Slim Jims on sale for $.69. Kick ass, I'm buying a slim jim and gonna wash it down with a red bull when I get home.

So I get home, put some other shit I bought away and headed off to eat my slim jim. I open the damn thing up and *braring* the damn phone rings. I put down my now opened slim jim down on the kitchen counter and answer the phone. Out of the corner of my eye I see my one cat run by and up the stairs he goes carrying something.

"That kangaroo stole my ball!!!"

I hang up, run up the stairs after the cat just in time to see him shoot under the bed with my mother F@cking slim jim!!!

So, I dive on the floor and grab an end of the slim jim and start a slim jim tug of war with the cat which I eventually won. I look at my slim jim and that damn cat chomped on the entire thing from one end to the other laying claim to it not to mention the dust covering it. Bastard cat!!!!

I get up off the floor and start to walk down the stairs and notice that the cat is not happy. F@ck him, it's mine, I paid $.69 for it and I'm going to eat it cat chomps and dust be damned.

So I start to walk down the stairs with my reclaimed $.69 slim jim when that f@cking cat attacks the slim jim, snags it out of my hand and bolts down the stair, down the second set of stair into the basement.

Eh, at this point he wants it more than me. I hope he gets a stomach ache 'cause I'm not sharing my Tums with him.


Now, where's Lawson's candy hidden?

 

I know you're in a bad mood and don't want to be bothered which I get but honestly, at $.69 a pop, why not buy 2 or 3 "just in case"?

 

Oh that cat would be wok bound after that...

 

Fuck off, wanker. I hope the cat shits in your shoes. :up:

 

I'd shave him just to prove a point. Show that pussy you're in charge Dave.

 

you're nuckin futz!

 

Send Mr. Whiskers to cat heaven...

 

Pwned by a cat! Twice!

 

sorry, but u snooze you loose...well that's what the cat said...