name your favorite cliche.

But a fart is just a turd fighting for the right of way.

 

Don't sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things!

Fack 'em, feed 'em fish heads

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart

Holdin' it down, like a fat bitch on a seesaw

There's never time to do it right the first time, but there's always time to do it over

 

A poot goes around the sh#t, a fart goes through it.

 

Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.

 

never eat yellow snow

 

Don't start something you don't want to finish

 

Smells like fish, eat as you wish.

Smells like cologne, leave it alone.

 

Its all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.

 

In the infamous words of Al Bundy, "Women: can't live with 'em; can't have heterosexual sex without 'em."

 

Senator who tap toe in public restroom get different pokey than he seek.

 

happy trail leads to the treasure.

 

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone e lse.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force' . It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

 

Mike, so how many of those have you experienced?

 

Shoot Jason...I would think everyone here would be lying if they said they had not experienced that whole list at least once. Well I can say I have never had the last one happen to me. I really like # 18.:up:

 

There are but three ways a man can do something as far as a woman is concerned:

1. You do it wrong
2. You do it right, but not soon enough, or
3. you should have done it without being asked.

 

A phone book to the back of the head leaves no evidence, but gets the point across.

 

"On a long enough time line, the survival rate for anyone drops to zero"
-Fight Club

 

The Altanta phonebook(s) could be considered lethal weapons.

 

Gee Jason...how often do you get hit in the head by a phone book?

That's why I continue to throw them away.:up: I just keep the thin ones around. or the smaller versions hehe

 

I have mastered the art of the "duck and run".