You Know You're Trailer Trash When.....

1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a
different night.

5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."

6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all
watch this."

8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

10. Your junior prom had a daycare.

11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are,
"Gentlemen start your engines."

12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie
at the House of Tattoos.

17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting you wife drunk.

19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.

21. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

22. If the biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

23. If your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.

24. If you thought the Una-bomber was a wrestler.

25. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.

26. If you think a quarter horse is that ride out in front of the
K-Mart.

27. If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home...

28. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 dollars worth of improvement...

29. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

30. If you've ever asked the preacher "How's it hangin?"

31. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

32. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

33. If somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth
and you take them out to see what it is.

34. If you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said
concentrate.

35. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.

36. If you don't understand why the first 35 are funny.

 

#24 was the best.

 

How many do you do have to have before you're Trailer Trash?

 

One drop rule man! One drop of Trailer Trash blood and you are TRAILER TRASH!

 

#23 when I was a kid. I remember my Dad placing the B&W on top of the broken Color TV so we could watch PBS (hey, it was prob. Hee Haw but I'm not going to tell you all that).

 

Well I guess I'll just be white trash because I've never lived in a trailer.

 

I joke that I am a reformed RED-NECK! I come from a LONG line of Necks. But I have NO LIVING ROOM FURNITURE on MY PORCH (Front or Back).

Unfortunately for most of us!!! THe old saying rings true:

"You can take BILLY out of the HILL but you can't take the HILL OUTTA BILLY!"

 

I wonder if my home furnishings count.....

 

If any of that comes from Detroit, it counts. Otherwise, you have the benefit of the doubt.

 

Marysville, Ohio? (1990 Honda Accord that our lot boy ran through a puddle at high speed and hydro-locked. I just sold the pulley off of the crankshaft for $100.00 because none of the junkyards had one that was intact. Retail new was $170.00.)

 

Well, if you were a client I would tell you to junk everything in the room. But since you're not, I have to tell you secretly that I really dig the lamps. I made one with rotors and forks for a design school project.

I have a stack of crashed parts from Lee's career that I am saving for the Ultimate sculpture.

 

Any suggestions for replacing those awful green drapes?

 

Well, do you ever close them for privacy?

If you don't use them at all, I would just take them down and enjoy those windows.

 

My Grandma was a Cool-Whip bowl collector, so I'm in the club...

 

What replace? You never heard of Krylon?