Don't lean over the toilet to pick something off your bathroom floor when you have sunglasses in your shirt pocket. If you do, cat-like reflexes can save the day (I hit the glasses in midair to send them flying into the trah can). Please post your insights on the random little joys of everyday life so we can all benefit from your wisdom and avoid doing stuff we might regret.
this may seem a little crude but speaking of toilets, don't ya hate when ya take a crap and the water comes up and smacks ya (especially at say the texaco!). well put some toilet paper in there first and no more splash!! oh and at night when ya gotta take a wiz, well don't stand there trying to aim. there is a much easier and lazyer way, sit down, you don't even have to open your eyes.
Don't go to Cancun with the flu. Went down there, mistook Co-Tylenol for Tylenol (whoops!) after having a "few" adult beverages... Ended up being dragged off the bus and deposited on the front steps of my hotel. Ugh.
Don't ever ask Karl Morrow for toilet paper if he is in the stall next to you. We were on first call at Carolina and I had to go all of a sudden. I get in there, pull my leathers down in that awkward knees together position, sit down, perform "the tuck" and do my bidness. Just then, I look up and there's no f-ing toilet paper. I hear someone in the stall next to me rolling off some TP of his own. I look underneath only to see the boots of my nemesis Karl Morrow. I said, "hey karl, that you?" "yup", he says. I said, "Can ya roll me off a few squares over there, I'm out?" He says, "no problem, hang on a second." He then rolls some off, wipes his arse, and hands it to me under the stall. "Here ya go, man." he says. Then he started laughing manically. As nasty as it was, I had to laugh too.
Nope.....(if you don't like to read disgusting things, please look away now. "And now for something completely disgusting").............. .......... Nope, I saw the peanuts and politely asked for some TP sans peanuts.
OH MY GOSH!!! I have been laughing hysterically for like 2 minutes at this thread. I have tears rolling down my face and I can't believe it's because of that disgusting peanut comment.
what????? Did you forget the Corn????? Its the only thing you can eat and see it twice. sorry, Had to go there.
Re: what????? Or what about the ever-blessed southern okra? By the way Papa...I've been in the same "shoes" as you...only my sunglasses did make it.
I knew I had married into the right family when relaxing on the porch (at our first official meeting) and we all started lighting farts. Yes, it was West Virginia and the Hatfield's finest moment. Likewise, it seems this might be a match made in heaven too. Anyplace where you are comfortable, the conversation always turns to sh*t.
