Parents... was I totally off base?

That little girl and her dad was probably members of the local church and good ole 'mericans Please visit my christian friends @ www.landoverbaptist.org
we even welcome negros,jews,homos and women!!

 

How sad. It sounds (at best) like the little girl has some serious developmental problems. Any well adjusted parent would be shocked or horrified to find out their child was doing that, so I don't think calling the girl a dummy made any difference.

 

I would have wigged out. I think my first reaction would be to get the little girl's attention to distract her from the dog, then go straight to the parents. But, that obviously did not help in this situation. To make the little girl's self esteem a little better, you may want to try to apologize for calling her a dummy. Other than that Eric, I wouldn't regret a thing. You probably saved the dog's life. I hate those shocker fences. They make my stomach sick.

 

Self-esteem? Geez, what a stretch!

Do a dumb thing, get called a dummy. Don't want to be called a dummy? Don't do a dumb thing. Lesson learned.

Children can handle criticism...if we let them. That is part of the learning process. Calling one names is not in good taste but it is not the end of the world. I had been called horrible things when I was growing up. I certainly dealt with that better than I did being beaten and starved.

 

That's not a stretch at all. If a kid is called a dummy, they may start thinking that they are dumb. It's not right to call them out. Correcting them would be a better choice. Not all kids are survivors and turn out to be a good person like you.
Eric may actually teach the child something about respect by going back to apologize. Kids trip on adults admitting when they are wrong and learn a lot from it.

 

Being a parent (and pet owner)myself, I probably would have checked my daughter and sent her inside so we could have an 'adult talk'. Nothing frightens a child more than missing out on an 'adult talk'. Especially when the subject involes them.

Nothing unexpected, I would thank you for saving my dog, and admonish you for calling my daughter a dummy.

BTW-I think you did the right thing.

Buck

 

Eric, I had a similair thing thing happen, my neighbors 14 year old was pushing other kids on a chair with those tiny little office wheels. They were running as fast as they could past my house with a kid seated in it. I casually mentioned to them that that was dangerous, those wheels will catch the sidewalk cracks. I thought they understood by the nods i got. 5 min later they came tearin by as fast as they could with my buddies 7 year old in the seat this time. I lost it basically and said" i told you to stop trying to kill each other! your about to catch a crack and break your f*&^%$ arm ! " well obviously i screwed up and cussed. But, they were doing something dangerous and didnt take the earlier gentle hint. This little 14 year old went and got her dad. He came out... asked me what happened and she proceded to make a big story. This guy was whipped, his little girl was bossing him around etc etc. pretty sad. i politely interupted her and asked to please be quiet while i spoke to her dad. She bought fainted cause an adult had actually told her to do something. I started to tell her dad i was sorry for cussing, then i explained why. He seemed to agree, didnt really have a problem really. After he went in, his little girl dragged 2 other parents of bystanding kids to my yard claiming i was cussing at thier kid. So i again, told her to bug off, then dealt with each parent in the same way. One was concerned, so i told her fine, i wont watch out for your childs safety and when she is broken and bleeding in the street, too bad. You dont care, i dont dont ethier. (i lied to prove a point)
I think you should have invited the dad to teach his kid a electric lesson. Ethier that or taken the animal away....ya know he didnt correct her. Steal it... or call peta. Otherwise good job, at least you didnt keep walkin.. that wouldve been wrong.

 

Good Job Eric..aside from the dummy thing. I don't think you should call kids names, because they are expected to not call people names. But it was the heat of the moment, and you admit it may not have been right. I'd go apologize and explain to the little girl, but give her one of those grown up aplologies that doesn't let her forget why she was called a dummy in the first place.

My. 02 as a non abusive parent.

 

eric, you should have shown the poor child what a right hook and uppercut was. the, taken the dog away. BEAT EMMA!!

 

That's just wrong, even with the smiley thing.

 

No apology necessary for calling her a dummy, Eric. If her father won't be responsible for her behavior, then isn't it good that she at least knows other people don't approve?? If her feelings got hurt, then good, 'cause just maybe she'll think about what she did!
I have a suggestion in case you see her doing it again: tell her that the puppy's father lives around the corner and will be very angry to hear what she's doing, and you're going to go tell him. Then go get a mean-looking dog outfit at the costume rental store and come back and smack the snot out of the little brat. I guarantee she'll leave the puppy alone after that!!

 

Good job Eric. If more people would take the time and tell kids when they are doing something wrong (as well as when they are doing something right), we would all be better off for it.

When I was in Denver, the guy next door was one of "I don't raise my voice, or spank my child" scumbags that uses that excuse to not watch his kids.

His 3yr old would go around into peoples garages, steal shoes, beat animals with bricks and rocks (new homes in the area), and then would lie to his dad and the idiot dad would almost get his *ss kicked by the neighbors daily.

Right before I moved out, the kid starts screaming at me, and throwing rocks at my truck, so I go over to the house and knock on the doorframe (door was wide open) for 10 minutes to see if the parents are even around. I was about to call the police as it was 45 degrees, the kid had on nothing but underware, so the dad comes out and wants to know what is going on. I explain to him the situation. He tells me his son is not like that and that he was watching his son. I remind him I pounded on his doorframe and rang the doorbell for approximately 10 minutes.

Then the guy says, he is going to call the police. I dial my phone and start calling myself. By this time the neighbors have gathered around and are telling the guy what a rotten kid he has and what a bad parent he is.

He shuts up and goes inside. I think collectively, the whole neighborhood reminded this guy what a *hithead he was as a parent.

I literally hate people who have children and are not responsible enough to take being a parent seriously.

To Eric and anyone else, thanks for taking the time to let a child know when they are doing something wrong since the parents seem incapable of understanding why or what that would be for in the first place.

Also, I would remind folks that if a child does something good, they should be reminded of what they did good too.

 

You know, back in the day if you were over "Jimmy's" house, and you did something wrong, it was perfectly ok for Jimmy's mom to whack you on the butt a few times. Then, when you got home, the phone call Jimmy's mom had made would insure your own mom adding a few for good measure! Seems in this day and age of lawsuit happiness good old common sense (ie, you see someone doing something bad, you stop them) doesn't have much of a place. The only thing wrong with the whole thing was that the child's father didn't thank you for stepping in.
I have a friend who teachs grade school, the stories she tells me about how "MY little darling could NEVER have done that!!" would make your ears curl. But you've probably been there, huh?
Oh yeah, I've read a few books on the subject also, pet/animal abuse is a very dangerous sign.

 

I remember a similar situation Tattoo Guy had back in August? You can still probably find it in the old BBS posts.
I can imagine that this puppy will be one of the many that end up in an animal shelter. The parents probably only bought it for the kid. Kid gets tired of it when it grows out of puppyhood. Puppy is still not socialized and trained and probably not housebroken. Parents get tired of dealing with dog and taking care of dog.
Bye-bye dog!

 

Do not confuse what I am about to say with condoning the kids actions but the dog does have to be trained as to where the invisible fence is. I don't believe the kid should be the one doing it and don't for a minute beleive the kid was. We had tried one for my roommates dogs, Irish Setter and black Lab, they would just bolt when let out without their leashes and would run right past fence get zapped and keep on going. We had to teach them the perimeter by taking them all the way around on a leash and let them "find" the fence which then kept them from buzzing right past it.

But how you reacted to that little girl, the kid was acting like a dummy he did not tell the kid she was a dummy and try to make the kid fit the mold she already did fit.

 

Brad-Please don't type Beat Emma anymore. Thanks.

 

sorry laurie, din't know you'd take it that way. i apologize.

 

It was just starting to get weird on this thread. The thought of it makes me sick.

 

Yes, beating children for the sake of beating them is wrong, but there's nothing wrong with a paddling or spanking if done as a disciplinary measure. I know a lot of people commented on that in this thread and I agree. When I was raised it was very common to have a neighbor discipline you if you were doing something wrong at their house. They never hit kids just to hit them.

I see so many parents in today's world trying the "Honey, now that's wrong, please don't do that!" approach and it doesn't work in all cases. If a kid knows the worst that's going to happen is he'll get a good talking to for acting up, well then guess what, he's gonna act up repeatedly.

I know it's not the solution to all problems in the world, and doesn't apply to everyone, but if a kid understands the consequences of his actions will be met with a good paddling and/or loss of privileges, that kid is a lot less likely to be a repeat offender.



[This message has been edited by Tardholio (edited 02-04-2002).]