Just we thought politics in Illinois was getting a little stale. Republican U.S. Senate nominee Jack Ryan's ex-wife, TV actress Jeri Ryan, accused him of taking her to sex clubs in New York and Paris, where he tried to coerce her into having sex with him in front of strangers, according to records released Monday from the couple's California divorce file. Jeri Ryan in Star Trek Voyager http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-0406220247jun22,1,7688140.story?coll=chi-news-hed http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,14366,00.html
as they said in fox news, in divorces, things get messy, mud gets thrown, and people exxagerate. I fear this may be an example of that. Hell when I got divorced I got accused of a lot of shit, but the plain fact was my wife cheated on me, and thank god I had a pre-nup that stated if she cheated on me, she gets nothing, no alimony, no rights to custody if we had kids (none thank goodness), and no rights to any of my property. I strongly encourage pre-nups, and even something typed out on paper, signed by both parties, and notarized WILL stand up in court.
Zeb, don't bring your ex-wife's allegations of your gerbilistic tendencies into this thread -- PLEASE!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, the 2004 award for most sensitive man in the history of mankind, Senatorial candidate Ryan!!! -Wish
Iwish just reminded me of a great song: "The Lapdance Is Always Better When The Stripper Is Crying" by Bloodhound Gang I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been a while. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell. Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave", this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock. Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', ‘cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer." Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. ‘Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl. Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got to nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula. Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin and slid on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop. There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb", when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped. So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud? Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
