I.F.: You ready yet? Im bearing to go! SexyKarla17: Yhea im slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like? I.F.: a Kodiac bear SexyKarla17: ? I.F.: Im soft naked, fuzzy and waiting for you to come mount me SexyKarla17: Oh I love cute fuzzy bears, I walk up and get on top of you stroking your soft hair, kissing you gently as my move my way down your stomach I.F.: I growl to warm you my cubs are near SexyKarla17: huh? I.F.: Bears get fuckin pumped when anyone is near their cubs Sexkarla17: yhea hehe dont be silly.. SexyKarla17: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants. I.F.: Bears dont wear pants and you should cover yourself in Honey now SexyKarla17: hehe you would love to lick that off me huh. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly I.F.: I sniff the air to see where the sweet scent of the honey is coming from, while slowly snorting and walking towards you I.F.: I Growl again, and start to bite you SexyKarla17: Yhea that feels good..ooooo...not too hard now I.F.: I bite harder peeling flesh from your stomach, and look up into your eyes to show you my mouth dripping with your warm blood mixed with honey, I then I let my cubs rip apart your limbs and play with you like a ragdoll. SexyKarla17: what the fuck? I.F.:uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh and im spent. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I.F.: My shit is hard you ready to jump aboard? 1hOttYeVe: oh yhea im so wet right now I.F.: Why you just shower? 1hOttYeVe: no im wet for you I.F.: Did you ever play with supersoakers when you were a kid? or that gator shit you would dive and slide down, there was that badass pool at the end of it. 1hOttYeVe: What the fuck are you talking about? You wanna cyber or not? I.F.: I do! Sorry...I just didnt know why you were wet...then you say your wet for me, and im thinking I didnt even throw water on you... I.F.: Im sorry lets continue! 1hOttYeVe: alright then...I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest I.F.: I pop like 16 boners 1hOttYeVe: what the fuck! I.F.: what?
From http://www.goyk.com/text.asp?id=135 hotstud69: Hello there blondebabe4u: Hi hotstud69: What is your name? blondebabe4u: Sandy, urs? hotstud69: Bob, nice to meet you.. what are you doing tonight? blondebabe4u: Nothing, just chatting, u? hotstud69: not too much, just sitting around... what are you wearing? blondebabe4u: oh just my thong and a tank top. hotstud69: oh wow, I would love to see that, what do you look like? blondebabe4u: I am 5'6" blonde hair, green eyes, 120 lbs, you? hotstud69: i am 6'0" 175, brown hair, blue eyes, and tan blondebabe4u: you sound very handsome hotstud69: how about I pull that tank top off? blondebabe4u: Oh Bob, i would love for you too.... hotstud69: Oh yea, those look great... they feel nice too blondebabe4u: yes bob, my 36D's like that, you are good hotstud69: oh yes, they feel so good, I am squeezing them.. blondebabe4u: yes bob, you know what you are doing. hotstud69: Oh yea, I am getting so excited blondebabe4u: need me to help you there Bob hotstud69: oh yea, let me unzip for you blondebabe4u: oh wow bob, you have a nice one hotstud69: OH SHIT blondebabe4u: What? hotstud69: SON OF A BITCH!!! blondebabe4u: whats wrong? hotstud69: Got it stuck in the zipper... blondebabe4u: What? hotstud69: oh god, I am bleeding..... blondebabe4u: bob, are you ok? hotstud69: OMG... OMG... blondebabe4u: Bob?? hotstud69: I am feeling faint... blood everywhere... blondebabe4u: are you ok? hotstud69: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!! blondebabe4u: what bob what?? hotstud69: IT FEEL OFF!!!!!!!!!!! blondebabe4u: fell off? hotstud69: it is on the floor, laying there... I am looking at it, damn, thought it would be bigger......... blondebabe4u: call an abulance... hotstud69: I can't blondebabe4u: why hotstud69: Because I am on the computer blondebabe4u: well get off hotstud69: the last time tried to get off, my dick fell off........ blondebabe4u: bob?? blondebabe4u: bob?? blondebabe4u: bob?? hotstud69: has left the room
<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping? <Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks? <mage> no I mean like, WinZip? <NES> lol <NES> I download something from Napster <NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done <NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you" <NES> "getting my song back fucker" <Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you. <LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder <LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed <LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know" <LordChewy> "i know dad" <LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?" <LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "Cocuments and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes" <LordChewy> and he just shut up <kingKahn> what is it? <LordChewy> its his porn folder <scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals. <Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm <Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then <Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass <Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat <Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^ alot of other funny ones at: http://www.bash.org/?top
let's bring her back around for another round....this one didn't get enough props first time around. chip still rules in my book - best post ever.
VictimX_27: Hi there! cheesedog: HEYA! VictimX_27: What u up 2? cheesedog: Nice English. cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short bus? VictimX_27: Get fucked cheesedog: I'm just joking relax VictimX_27: cheesedog: What's your name? VictimX_27: Whats yours? cheesedog: I asked you first. VictimX_27: I asked you second cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle school? VictimX_27: huh cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog VictimX_27: Thats not your real name cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name? VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last name cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with it? VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that av? cheesedog: Yes it is VictimX_27: Very handsome cheesedog: Thanks VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem cheesedog: Fuck you. VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot! cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot? VictimX_27: Yeah cheesedog: What do you look like? cheesedog: Do you have a pic? VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to anyone cheesedog: Why not? VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly cheesedog: I won't make fun of you VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my looks cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh? cheesedog: Is that what you're saying? VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm pretty cheesedog: Let me be the judge of that. VictimX_27: Nahhh cheesedog: Then describe yourself. VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look like? cheesedog: Because I think you're nice cheesedog: I want to picture you in my head while I'm talking to you. VictimX_27: LMAO!! You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me cheesedog: Why not? VictimX_27: I told you. I'm ugly. cheesedog: Well... I think you're beautiful on the inside. VictimX_27: You don't even know me cheesedog: I'm a pretty good judge of character VictimX_27: Then why do u need 2 see me? cheesedog: I just wanted to know thats all cheesedog: If you aren't comfortable with it... thats fine. VictimX_27: You don't understand cheesedog: Is it that bad? VictimX_27: YESSSSS cheesedog: Ok then. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy from the Jeffersons. cheesedog: She is the bomb! cheesedog: She makes me hot just thinking about her! VictimX_27: Wheezy? cheesedog: Yep. Weezy. VictimX_27: Who is that? cheesedog: George's wife. VictimX_27: Who is george cheesedog: George Jefferson. From the Jeffersons. cheesedog: Are you fucking deaf? VictimX_27: Who are the Jeffersons? cheesedog: Oh lord. Here we go VictimX_27: wut? cheesedog: You don't know who the Jeffersons are? VictimX_27: Should I? cheesedog: Yes. VictimX_27: Well I don't. cheesedog: FISH DONT FRY IN THE KITCHEN! BEANS DONT BURN ON THE GREEEELL... VictimX_27: huhhh? cheesedog: TOOK A WHOOOOLE LOTTA LU UH VINNNN. JUST TO GET UP THAT HEEEELL VictimX_27: Wut the hell are you saying? cheesedog: Hold on a second cheesedog: Here you go. *PIC* VictimX_27: Thats her? cheesedog: Yep VictimX_27: I don't look anything like that cheesedog: SHUT UP! You're ruining my fantasy! VictimX_27: LOL. You're funny. cheesedog: What's funny? VictimX_27: u r cheesedog: I'm glad I entertain you VictimX_27: me 2 cheesedog: So if you don't look like Weezy, what do you look like? VictimX_27: u don't give up do u? cheesedog: Never VictimX_27: I'm the exact opposite of her cheesedog: ??? VictimX_27: I'm very white cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul sista' VictimX_27: LOL cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I guess. VictimX_27: I'm whiter than most cheesedog: really? VictimX_27: I'm an albino cheesedog: a what? VictimX_27: u don't know what that is? cheesedog: I've heard the word before VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or hair VictimX_27: So I'm all white cheesedog: This is bullshit VictimX_27: I'm serious! VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino before? cheesedog: No. Where do they live? Albinia? VictimX_27: No, we live all over. cheesedog: Then how come I've never seen any VictimX_27: Lucky I suppose cheesedog: Send me your picture. I wanna know what an albino looks like. VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not me cheesedog: Ok VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC* cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture out? cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with it. cheesedog: It doesn't make you ugly cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot actually. VictimX_27: Thank u cheesedog: No problem cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look like. VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3 hours? cheesedog: Yes VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my sister VictimX_27: Will you be here when I get back? cheesedog: S ure. Then I'll sex you up. VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL cheesedog: I'm serious VictimX_27: We'll see. cheesedog: Yes we will. VictimX_27: Bye for now! cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen. VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT> About 3 hours later... VictimX_27: HEY! cheesedog: Hello there VictimX_27: I'm back cheesedog: Have fun at the mall? VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes cheesedog: Interesting VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now? VictimX_27: LOL cheesedog: Is that a yes? VictimX_27: Could be VictimX_27: cheesedog: HOT DAMN! cheesedog: I gently suck your nipples cheesedog: I feel them get hard then I jam my hand down your.. VictimX_27: WOAH! Slow down cowboy cheesedog: Why? VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if thats all you want cheesedog: What do you mean? VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore me later are you? cheesedog: Of course not. cheesedog: I like you. VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you are. cheesedog: I'm 27. Now.... cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough hands cheesedog: I roll your nipples between my fingers VictimX_27: WAIT! cheesedog: They get hard again... what? VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first? VictimX_27: Like what I like? cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up. VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing. cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!!! VictimX_27: Now u r being a smartass VictimX_27: Just give me a minute cheesedog: ok VictimX_27: I'm back cheesedog: np VictimX_27: thank you cheesedog: So what do you like? VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked cheesedog: Where? VictimX_27: Everywhere cheesedog: Any place in particular? VictimX_27: uhhh yeah cheesedog: tell me VictimX_27: on my clit cheesedog: OK! cheesedog: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN! VictimX_27: I also like being done from behind cheesedog: Ooooooohhhh. cheesedog: Ok. Check this out. cheesedog: We're in an abandoned building. cheesedog: No is around. Its all quiet. VictimX_27: Uh huh cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand across your clit cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy. cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage your pussy VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm cheesedog: I place my mouth on your pussy as I eat you from behind cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole VictimX_27: yessss cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you. cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back. cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs* VictimX_27: ??? cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!! cheesedog: POW!! BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!!! cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap.... VictimX_27: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!! cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!! cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in! VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny! cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT! cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area** cheesedog: Slimer is in there too.. VictimX_27: YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE! cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP! cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your pigmentless ass. cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!** VictimX_27: Never talk to me again! cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color VictimX_27: FUCK YOUUUU cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut! VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND FUCK YOUUUU!!!!! cheesedog: o wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore! VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!! cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said. cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit. cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!! cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!! cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS OFF! VictimX_27: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!! cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them** VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>
<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up? <Indidge> umm....nothing? <Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck? <Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter? <Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/
once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404. <hokage> *cries*, scary....
FOR BTJZXAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west Spin: thar be large pipes o'bandwith near ye'ol univarsety. Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar. Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin. Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with a grand ol CDR. Pirate: Avast! Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow! Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east. Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off. Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security patches, argh thar be spyware abound.