I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding. I totally plagiarized this from somewhere else....
Funny. I was just thinking the other day that about piloting an Apache. It was always a dream but my eyesight (pre-lasik) was so terrible that I couldn't do it. If there had been a way to correct my vision back then you can bet your ass I'd be an Army helicopter pilot a couple of years away from retirement right now.
I'm Ric Flair in action, Rowdy Piper in mouth all in a Dusty Rhodes body. . . shrunk for single serving.
