I know how it ends.

Last month Broome ran into a belligerent drunk at Walmart and ended up with a garage full of TP.
He's retiring this week.

 

And ancient Rome fell. Eff their 'wisdom'.

I'm another in the shower after a shit crowd.

 

Clearly I’m out of the loop - what’s with all the TP hysteria? Isn’t it normally bread and milk that all the goobers hoard?

 

FFS, isn't TP one of the few things still made in this country? (Perhaps some of it comes from Canuckistan.)

 

You can make one roll of toilet paper last a damn long time using the 1 sheet 1 finger method.

 

Somewhere here there's a thread by guys whose diet allowed them to take paperless shits.
That thread's time has arrived.

 

There's no such thing as a paperless shit.

Trust, but verify.

 

The world would be a better place without the Howie Mandels...

 

The only person who can make a solid case for hoarding toilet paper is that three-times-a-day shitter Robby-Bobby. I can understand why he wouldn't want to have to get in the shower four or five times a day when the world supply runs out. That's a lot of disruptions, even if you have a shower at work.

Everyone else, it makes no damn sense.

 

New sideline to your dogshit business?

 

This.

And if you’re shitting through a bear skin rug...shave it!

 

And don't forget to save that middle piece for your fingernail!

 

Bonus point for being detail oriented.

 

A cup of coffee always loosens up the old bowels, and I like coffee. I'm going to have to come up with a plan. Initially, I will use the clothing from dead looters to wipe my ass. I expect that supply to dissipate fairly quickly, so a plant based permanent solution is in order.

 

I'm the youngest among my 35 or so households in this hood. Most of the rest are 60+ year old households. I'll just pillage toilet paper from the houses of those that didn't make it.

 

Now the local PCP's are sending their same day patients and those that call for advice to our Urgent Care clinic. They don't want to see anyone with 'flu like' symptoms.
I can understand, I'll see 'em. I'll be sure to mention/advise to stock on on TP!

 

On an 100 item list of necessities when SHTF, I guarantee TP is in the top ten...maybe even top five!

 

I am sure the internet has a load of sites suggesting optimal flora for use as nonskid. Lambs ear would be a good choice.

No. 5 here caught me a little off-guard.

 

Well if you aim for the toilet instead of the fan, then maybe you'll need to use less TP for clean up.