I almost got my ass beat by a flatbiller today

Discussion in 'General' started by Metalhead, Jun 4, 2012.

  1. Metalhead

    Metalhead Dong pilot

    About an hour ago, I was in My truck at a redlight waiting to take a left. Across the street, and to My left, was a convenience store that I was going to whip a right in to get some gas. Walking down the sidewalk on the same side of the street that I was going, was a flatbiller with His cellphone jammed up to His ear. This sumbitch was a 'classic' flatbiller. He had on the baggy assed jeans, the 'Air Jordans', the hoody, and of course, His stupid assed, big ass, baseball cap with the flatbill jutting out from the hoody. I clenched the wheel of My truck all white knuckled and muttered a few expletives while watching His dumbass strut all 'gangsta style' down the street.


    As soon as My light turned green, I crept out real slow and quiet like and eased over to the right side of the road to where the front right corner of My truck was about eight feet from Him. The dumbass was TOTALLY unaware that I was right behind Him (He was probably in a heated debate with His 'baby Mama'). I waited about one more second and....


    ....I laid on the horn with all My might. THAT SUMBITCH CAME UNGLUED! The first thing that happened was, He chucked His cellphone like 4000 feet. He also went into a 'running in place scared as fuck move' with His fists all clenched up to His neck like them Women do in those slasher/horror movies. He also screamed like a thirteen year old girl.
    I fucking sat there stunned. I couldn't believe His reaction. After a couple of seconds He finally got over His fright and starting yelling "MOTHER FUCKER WHAT THE FUCK" while getting all 'gang symboly' and shit. I figured as jacked up on adrenaline as that fucker was, I'd better get the eff out of there so's I didn't get My ass whipped.
    I drove down the road a mile or so, and pulled into a neighborhood where I parked My truck in front of some random house, and.....and......


    I so rock.

    The end.

  2. R Acree

    R Acree Banned

    Say what?
  3. Steeltoe

    Steeltoe What's my move?

    Pedestrians have the Right of Way.
  4. SpeedyTide

    SpeedyTide 'Bama's Bad Boy

    I lol.... a bit. :D
  5. MCoop

    MCoop Trackhead Motorsports

  6. SpeedyTide

    SpeedyTide 'Bama's Bad Boy

    I just expect them to make some attempt to hurry across when an automobile is waiting to turn in, as to not take a chance and getting rammed from behind (non-sexual) from someone behind. Especially in city traffic.
  7. SpeedyTide

    SpeedyTide 'Bama's Bad Boy

    Speaking of the horn bit.... I've gotten back into running, and nearly everytime I'm out for a run, I have someone (usually young-ins) honk there horn right when they get by me. I've become so used to expecting it, that it doesn't bother me anymore.

    Now, if someone comes by with an air horn...... :eek:! :D
  8. RCjohn

    RCjohn Killin machine.

  9. SpeedyTide

    SpeedyTide 'Bama's Bad Boy

    Shouldn't the thread title be.... "I almost got my azz whooped by a flatbiller today!"
  10. Captain Squid

    Captain Squid Well-Known Member

    Bust a U-turn then hook a R into the 'station.

    Damn, I'm talking like one now :D
  11. Steeltoe

    Steeltoe What's my move?

    In a perfect world. A good 99% of the population is in a self centered daze 100% of the time :D
  12. kz2zx

    kz2zx zx2gsxr

    My wife and daughter came to read this over my shoulder because I was laughing so hard.
  13. Sabre699

    Sabre699 Wait...hold my beer.

    You do what you gotta do when there isn't a drainage ditch in sight.
  14. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK ├╝ber alles!

    Whoever did it, I wasn't there. :D
  15. Metalhead

    Metalhead Dong pilot


  16. JeF4y

    JeF4y Sweet Tea & Grits!

    I clicked this just to find out what a flatbiller was.
  17. YAM#849

    YAM#849 y'all watch this...

    Just look around the paddock... You'll see some... :D
  18. pefrey

    pefrey Well-Known Member

    LOL at "chucked his cell phone 4000 feet".

    That was mean. Funny, but mean.
  19. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner

    Could you tell if he was also "ear-tucked" under the flat bill?

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