Godfather, but not "The Godfather"

I am the Godfather for a couple of my sisters kids. Works out well. But then (follow me here), the sister of my brother in law on my wife's side (still with me?), asked me to be the Godfather for her son over 7 years ago. We know my brother in law's family fairly well. But I really thought my BiL should have been the Godfather. That's a whole other story.

I know the role is largely ceremonial at this point anymore. No real obligations. They are of limited means, mainly because of the poor decisions the parents keep making when it comes to excessive drinking, unable to keep jobs, tempers that flare like a pack of hemorrhoids.....but again, a whole other story. But I think they asked me just because I am kidless and without sounding like an ass, somewhat successful, and I really think they looked at is as a way for their kid to get some great gifts and maybe get into the will or something......because of what follows.

The reason I think that is the father of the kid is a huge atheist, to the point he made the mother a huge atheist. One time the kid sneezed a couple years ago when I was at their place, and I said "God bless you". I got a 10 minute lecture from him and her of how they don't say the "G word" in their house. So, what is the point then of me being a Godfather???

They moved farther away about two years ago (again due to poor decision making on her part), so I don't see them or the kid much at all anymore. They don't do family events with my in-laws in the area because they both love to drink too much and wont risk more OWIs by driving.....anymore. We were not invited to his 7th birthday party at a lake about an hour away over the weekend. I know its petty to take it out on the kid and in all actuality $30-$50 a year for birthday and Christmas presents is not an issue, except for the principle of the matter, which matters to me. No religion on their part, being blasted for saying "God bless you" and not even seeing them anymore. I also don't think if I talk to the kid about religion, as a Godfather is kind of supposed to do, it will go over well. Not my kid. The parents want to raise him in a certain way and its none of my business and I should understand and accept that. Their choices.

Do I bother then to make any attempts to keep up a one-sided relationship with both them and their son, who I guess formerly was my Godson, or just let it fizzle away?

 

Resign, give the kid gifts... annoying noisy gifts . I think it is kind of weird for an atheist to do the Godparent thing.

 

Can you resign as a Godfather? You suddenly have more than enough reasons to.

 

Give them a kiss and tell then you knew it was them and that they broke your heart.

 

Drums. Buy the kid drums.

 

Whistles and horns

 

Deposit money in a college account for him to attend Bob Jones University.

 

I might be mistaken, but isn't one the repsonsibilites of being a God parent, that you would take custody of the child if anything happened to the parents. If that is part of your repsonsibility of being a god-parent are you willing to take on that repsonsibilty? Without knowing any details it kind of sounds like the possibility of something bad happening to the parents is not totally out of the question. Even if the relationship is superficial seems like that possibility alone is worth remaining the god-parent.

 

I thought that too years ago, but I think in the courts eyes, blood family on either or both sides would be first in line to take the kid/s if anything happened to the parents. I am just a guy, unrelated. I don't think that role is a legally binding thing.....or at least a thing anymore. All the said during the baptism was that we (Godparents) talk to the Godchildren about the bigger questions of life, model and encourage them to develop Christian values and help them to learn more about the Christian faith, none of which the parents would like or want. So, its like three strikes and I am out for the role.

 

Sounds like your life will be much more simple if those folks are not in it.

 

I would politely decline based on my understanding which is similar to tjnyzf's. Just tell them you are the god father of 2 kids and should anything horrible happen 'god forbid' you as a single person could not shoulder the responsibility being a god father takes on for more than that.

It might not be legally binding but yes that traditionally was the role of god parents. I am the god father of my nephews and they dodged a bullet by my brother surviving as I was planning on corrupting them 100%.

 

Do you have peace in your heart accepting being their God father?

 

Red Bull, pixie sticks and a bugle.

 

If the kid ever shows interest in you, you should be there for them. If they don't it will fizzle away, no hard feelings.

 

As a no longer practicing Catholic that decided not to baptize my son, I couldn't go along with the familial tradition because (even though I do not believe in God of any religion) it is insanely disrespectful to the people and institution that do believe and are there in good faith.

I'd rip him a new one (for 10 minutes did you say...?) for even suggesting you take a role in his life that uses the word "God"