Feelings after becoming a Dad.......

So I've got a son who recently turned 2, life is AWESOME! Most kickass thing ever, by far!



Got another one on the way too, another little boy. He'll be here in late Sept, early Oct.


I, for whatever reason, was really concerned with dying, and leaving him without a Dad. Not sure if it's just a feeling new Dad's get, but for the first year, I gave myself some pretty hairy anxeity, along with high blood pressure.

I go to the doc reguarly, am in pretty good shape, but with another one on the way, not sure if I will go through it again. I still think about it from time to time, mainly when I am driving my son to my mom's house, and he is in the back seat saying "Maaaaaaaaama, Maaaaaaaama" and singing a song to his Mom, who is still at home. I just can't bear the thought of one of us not being around.

Do most Dad's go through this? I just got to thinking again after posting in a thread where a gentleman lost his life last year, and left a 10yr old son behind.

 

Yep I feel the same way, I don't race or anything but to occasional track days and i have a 3 year old and i cannot imagine me not being there for him or even my wife not being together for us to raise him. I alwasy told myself i will do my best to keep family together for the kids. I am really happy and makes life much easier knowing i have him. I am also really scared of somethign happening to me because of him and even when i sit alone and think about it happening i get really scared that it will happen so i try not to thinka bout it too much.

 

Chicks aren't the only ones who's emotions run the gamut when you have a baby. Everyone handles it differently, but it's something you just can't understand until it happens to you.

Cancer is what scares me. On my dads side, my grandfather died from it, an uncle died from it (he was younger than my brother) and then my dad had it a couple years ago. I don't want to die like that, dwindling away to nothing. :down:

 

The one thing no one ever tells you about becoming a parent is how scared you will be at times. You hear all about how much fun it is, how hard it is, the rewards, all of that stuff. But you never hear about how scary it is. I think most parents feel it in one way or another. Just part of being a parent.

 

You are not alone. My son is two also. No matter how bad of a day I'm having, when he comes into the garage and says "what doin daddy?" ... it doesn't get any better.

I am suprised how much dying or being injured runs through my mind now that I have a son though.

 

My kids are spread out just like yours. I know you've heard this 1000 times, but enjoy these years...they might seem hectic and you think that you are watching after them all the time, but it is so much easier than when they get to be 19 and 17.

And I have relatively good kids.

 

oh man, part of me doesn't want to hear this, my first is due in three weeks
Everything sure seems to be getting heavier to me...

 

Man, that's a good way to put it. Hang in there. You'll make it.

 

Don't get me started on cancer thoughts....... runs in my Dad's side as well, and on my Moms side, it's alzheimers. I'm screwed!

I love when mine has something he shouldn't have at the time, and I ask him to please hand it to me, and we'll go get a toy instead, he will put it behind his back and say "Where it go Dada?, Where'd it go?"

Another awesome moment was this past weekend at the aquarium, the sharks swam by showing their teeth, so he showed his teeth to them all as they swam by again, growling.

 

At least you'll have the chance to forget about it.

Yeah I'm goin to hell.

 

Daughter is 2, son should get here around the end of July. Along with the occasional intense awareness of mortality, I also tend to speed up life in my thoughts. I am 36 now. I imagine my daughter driving and suddenly I am in my 50's. I easliy jump to her graduating college and I am in my late 50's. before I know it, just a few thoughts later, I am in my late 60's and her adult life is just starting. I have never gotten so old so fast before, and I tell myself to stop thinking that way. I also try my hardest to appreciate each day, but before I know it, 3 months have flown right past. The quick mental aging combined with the perception that time is passing me on the outside like I was standing still is the part that gets to me.

 

Yeap, I used to be very much "live fast, die young" but now it's life in the slow lane with my turn signal on and NPR playing on the radio. Total moments of terror.

 

I just had my first baby 3.5 weeks ago. I'm actually surprised at how much my outlook on dying has NOT changed! Then again, I was already afraid of dying/injury before he even showed up....

With regards to dying: I went and snagged a huge life insurance policy naming him the beneficiary. It won't replace me being there for him (I certainly wouldn't trade my dad for cash!) but it helped ease some of the worry I had about his welfare.

With regards to racing: I'm still going to do it. I have always been pretty careful on the track (making 100% sure I could make a pass, not pushing too far beyond my limits, being aware of riders around me) so I really don't feel like I need to tone it down either.

Regarding worry: I am absolutely floored at how exhausting it is having a baby, because I worry about his well being constantly! I am so mentally drained from constantly checking to see if he's breathing/too hot/too cold/dirty diaper/see if he's breathing AGAIN. Plus I worry about how well I'm performing as a father; or how I'm going to teach him responsibility (I'm not very responsible myself!)/right vs wrong/respect/the important things in life/etc...

It's crazy.

 

Oh snap

 

I remember the first few months after he was born, at night I was in his room checking on him more than I was sleeping in my own bed, I'll cherish those moments (and still do when I sneak in there) forever. So awesome!



I could go on with Dad stories forever, but it's good to know I am not the only one that feels this way. I get myself pretty torn up about it when I think of leaving him alone, without a Dad. I had some damn awesome times with my Dad when I was younger, and I want the same for him.

I can't wait till it's time to get him into Tball or something. I'll drive really slow by the park when the kids are playing Tball and let him look out the window. It's usually a few seconds after that that I realize no one else (at the field) can see him in his carseat, and I just look like that creepy guy driving by really slow watching the kids at the park

 

The only reason i do not race anymore! to much to lose and nothing to gain.

 

...when they aren't barrel-rollin' the family car ehh

j/k

Cancer is what got my dad in the end even though it doesn't run on his side of the family, heart disease does, but he smoked for 40 years through which I pleaded with him to stop for most of it.

Having it in your genes is only 1/2 the equation. If you want to have some effect on it don't drink, don't smoke, keep a good diet and fitness routine and keep a steady supply of anti-oxidants in your system. No need to roll over and just wait for it to happen, especially if you want to be around for your kids as long as you can be.

 

I don't have kids, but am getting married next month and we both want to get on the kid train relatively quick. I'm 34 and she's 38 so our time is limited that we can safely do so. Then the math hits.

35+18=53 WTF???

 

I thought I was going to be a father once. I was very concerned with changing my name, moving and finding a new job. Stressful for sure....

 

I noticed after having our daughter 1.5 years ago that I worry more about my wife's safety.

The other thing that happened to me is that I started noticing all the crazy bad shit out in the world and all the dangers. Especially the sicko and wackos, one story about some kid getting kidnapped and raped and Im almost in tears with rage/fear/hate......better not happen to my kido!