Divorce help - God Damn Epidemic

Eh, maybe. Most of us are too busy running businesses and families to plan our demise.

What you're suggesting is the equivalent of scheduling chemo before being diagnosed with cancer.

You can call it being in the dark, or anything you'd like. I'll call it living in the moment in a commitment I made, and enjoying my time. I'll never live in fear of something that may, or may not happen. Enjoy, you can have it.

 

Why are you still with that woman? Serious question. There is enough just in this post to make me make her go away.

 

Only he can determine when he’s had enough.

 

Use the googles. A lot easier to have it delivered than to make it yourself. They already exist.

 

not that desperate.

just having to respect that something might be cooking in the oven right now

 

Forgive me for looking to see if you were replying to this post

Or this post...

 

Th

I love the kids and have hope. I can't keep my career and the kids half the time. I also don't want to go a day without my kids. I'm no angel in this I have fucked up a ton. Not the greatest guy. I'm a ticking time bomb of what will happen next. Who is he going to piss off in our circle of friends. I know my faults shit she knew them before we got married. I'm a walking asshole. I try to be nice but shit comes out and Zero fucks given. Lost allot of friends for my morals attitude. That said I gotta take my happy pill.

I'm not a practicing Catholic, but I believe in the no divorce thing.

I've stopped not doing the things I love. I'm racing. Slow as all fuck but I'm out there. I'm about to rebuild a T500. and spend 4k on the build. Race reck it and start over. Kids are getting dirt bikes may send her to a lawyer. I better get the dirt bikes soon


Jesus A fucking racing forum instead of a shrink. Boy I have hit bottom. I'm going to the 2smoke forum.

 

Good call, I hear there’s some guy liquidating a Derbi collection over there.

 

like an RSA250 "Derbi"? or like... stupid Derbis nobody cares about?

 

I guess honor integrity and fairness are concepts foreign to some people.

When we first met and started dating there was nothing to protect. She made slightly more money than me, and insisted that all our expenses be divided 50/50, to the ridiculous point of every month sitting down and adding up how much each person spent on household stuff and sending $$ to each other to make it even. I thought it was ridiculous, but she insisted.

Then we bought our first house and she immediately got laid off...so i told her i'll take care of the mortgage until she puts herself on her feet. Which she never managed to do. Min wage jobs and unemployment were the defacto standard for the next 7 years. Letting Employement Insurance almost run out before getting a job. Those were our biggest fights....seeing someones potential wasted on watching netflix all day.
I started earning a lot more than her and paying for the house wasnt a big deal. I thought the fairness of 50/50 would have extended that when she left, she'd have the decency to not ask for something she never paid for, alas i realized too late the more i gave her, the more she felt entitled to it.

One of the final straws that broke the proverbial camels back is when she told me she sees herself not working at all in the near future...mid 30's woman, no kids...meanwhile, im hopping all over the country, living in hotels, getting OT so that we can afford the lifestyle.

Fine, you want to go after the house, i'll give you what you want...but then like a FUCKING JACKAL she fought me on EVERY SINGLE THING...evaluation of the house, how shes entitled to "potential income earning from her 50% of the house...", even though her fucking clothes are still here. Biggest mistake i made? Letting her drag this out. I paid additional 2 years of the mortgage thinking the seperation date is when all this stops but no....the house evaluation went up, the mortgage amount went down, and all that equity, 50% went to her. Fuck me i was an idiot thinking we could solve this amicably without lawyers.

Difficult to play ball when she has the whole "well, i am also entitled to alimony....soooo..." hanging over my head.

In the end i agreed to it just to get her to fuck off...she makes minum wage and she'll blow through that 150k in a few years. While its set me back 10 years, my spending and obligations are below my income, and now that the house is mine i'm going to add a kitchen in the basement and rent it out for further income stream. I'll be alright, i hope someone fleeces her of that money they way she fleeced me...

Yes, i sound bitter, and i dont fucking care.

 

Sounds to me like you have every right to be. I would be too.

 

Couldn't tell if you were being facetious. But your point is valid. *thumbs up*

I may be wrong in saying "The heart doesn't listen to the brain".
Then, again, maybe not. Been there. Done that.

Dude, being sympathetic but honest...

You likely already know if your marriage is worth saving or it is not (based on your 'future tense' statements). The disadvantage you likely have will become greater the more you prolong it. Unless you're a lazy, no-good-husband-or-father SOB.

If you could meet the "future-you" when "future-you" is either post-divorce or is going through the divorce (and likely when your personal net worth leaves you more exposed), what would you want "future-you" to tell the "present-you" to do now, in the present?
Hindsight is 20/20. Kids are resilient and will adjust to the new norm. Just sayin'. Again, been there. Done that.

Just my crappy 2 cents of good news.

 

True......it's only worthwhile to stay together "for the sake of the kids" if you are putting on one hell of an act and making it look like you are the picture perfect couple in front of them, and as we all know, no one can keep that act up for too long before you lose your mind.




It's shameful to say the least how broken the system has become.

 

You don't have to put on a perfect life show, not that most crazy ass wives would actually partake anyway. Hell, even the young children can sense a disturbance in the force. What you have to do is have a partner that is just below the threshold of critical crazy. That's a requirement. And what I mean by that is that she has to be able to see the difference between her desire to just please herself versus what is the best behavior for the children. Civility is number one, and that's a hurdle most of them can't cross. Second is that you don't lie about a relationship that does not exist. Third, you have to be on the same page with discipline, chores, homework, sports, all that shit....you can't have parents who are not on the same team. Differences are worked out behind closed doors only.

It is a shit job at times. It ain't for everybody. To a great extent it is a sacrifice. But it is a shit job that will be over soon enough. You can't get back that time with your kids that you miss because daddy don't live here any more. You can't be there for critical decisions in their lives if you ain't fucking there (that's probably the most important IMO). And you damn sure don't want her sorry ass boyfriend around your kids. He just wants to fuck the wife.

 

I know in your post you're talking about kids, but IMO, that also describes marriage. (Yes, I was married, got divorced and got fucked over by my ex in the process)

 

Your relationship sounds something like what I tolerated before I filed for divorce. I thought I could put up with the situation within our marriage but as time went on I began to wonder to myself was it worth it to continue with the marriage as it was. I realized that she wasn’t changing and it was two people with different lifestyles that could not come together.
For the good of my kids and my peace of mind it was time!
Good luck

 

It's easy getting into it. Lot of work to keep it together. Even more work to throw it back.

 

My daughter suggested we live in separate homes like 6 months ago. Killed me. She is so smart.

Thanks fellas. This place is a great outlet even if it is bottom. I don't really have people I can talk to openly. When I have it has backfired.

What company you peeps use to ship an engine. I need to send the T500 motor off to Roy Gibson. She hates when I spend money on bike shit. Probably half the reason I started racing and riding again.

Happy pill time.