did i make the right move breaking up with this broad?

yep!!! :up:

 

.. my thoughts exactly. Potential borderline personality disorder/bi-polar. RUN FOREST.. RUN!!

the sex is awesome with these chicks, random, nasty, etc.. Like A.D.D. "oh look, a squirrel.. lets f***" . but much of the rest of the time it's, really really tough to deal with them on a rational level.

 

Exactly. Not much else to add. Going through something similar with the drinking thing...its like a light switch.

 

You are suffering from white knight syndrome. The typical damsel in distress thrives on being in distress. You cannot save them, because they would have to change their self identity for that to happen. Move on. Make sure the next one doesn't need rescuing. If she does, look in the mirror to find the problem.

 

After thinking about this some more, I think you made a mistake. She clearly loves you so much that she went crazy. You can save her, just stay the course and she will come around







































Aw hell, who am I kidding? Run as far away from her as you can get!!

 

Any doubt about her 'Daddy Issue' status?

 

Thanks for the wise words guys. The binge drinking thing wasnt every night, but she def had a strange attraction to alcohol. A few times we got into arguments over it and she slapped me in the face or jumped in her car and drove away which was terrifying to me.
I have recognized that I certainly suffer from the "white knight syndrome" but i truly think I fucked this up. Aside from those issues she loved me wholeheartedly and would do anything for me. I loved her just as much, but i took her for granted and here i am with her in someone elses arms.
I dont know if this is because I am looking at things through rose colored glasses, but I really feel like I lost the love of my life and wont get a chance to get her back. It physically hurts

 

I hate to say this, but it sounds like she did not love you enough to make a serious effort to get herself better and give your relationship a chance. Either that, or she does not love herself enough. And you can't love her for two. Some of it has to come from herself.
In the end, it's the same result. The relationship you want is not viable.

 

Fall back on the hot/crazy matrix for these types of decisions.

 

Sounds to me like her being with someone else is what's bugging you, not the fact she's gone. Go get some new pussy and you'll feel better.

 

Jealousy is an evil, evil thing. Don't let it in your space.

 

Is Speedy posting under an alias?

 

Think it was like this



BTW OP just get laid, and you'll be ok. Crazy chicks are DEFINITELY not worth it man.

 

here is the thing, I did, multiple times, and the more I do the more I think about her. I have kind of fucked myself over to be honest.

 

You need to look in the mirror. Particularly if everything you have posted is even remotely true. The person who needs therapy is you. The relationships you seek and desire are generally a direct indication of how you percieve yourself. Want to fall madly in love with fucked up chicks? Then be fucked up. Just kinda how it works.

 

Been in a similar situation, you can't change people no matter how hard you try.

Move on and find a girl that is a better fit or this situation will slowly eat you away,

 

Well here is the low down:
-depressed and unwilling to go to therapy and shaky with the medicine
-family full of alcoholics, and def had a hard time controlling her drinking. although not someone who drinks every night
-upon drinking would go to a dark place and start crying or get very violent.

On the other hand she felt like my soulmate. was as crazy about me as I was about her. I realized everyone has problems, I certainly do, so now im trying to assess wether it was a huge mistake or not. which i think it was.

On to your point. I had an abusive mother and no father around growing up. She treated me like shit, was depressed, unwilling to get help and blamed her sadness on me. so its very likely that i follow a pattern

To you married guys, does every woman have these tendencies? or do I seek the crazy. BTW I am a good looking guy and getting girls is not really an issue for me. Thank you again for all the input. this is a more mature board so your answers mean alot

 

You should find someone to talk with face to face. Especially if you have children.Communicating your issues here is a good step,but really find someone you can talk with and help address/cope/handle and move on with past,present and future issues.And perhaps go for a weekend trip thats a relaxed atmosphere,go to the mountains as an example,and do some serious soul searching.

 

It took me three years and more attempts than I care to count, for me to dump basically the exact same girl you've described (is yours named Ami too? Maybe it IS the same chick lol). I know exactly what you're going through, and yeah. It sucks. BUT -

Yes, you did the right thing. No, she was not your soulmate. She was familiar, in the sense that she behaved similarly to the formative female figure in your life. She was NOT healthy, nor was she healthy for you. People don't hit each other in healthy relationships, people don't verbally abuse each other in healthy relationships and people don't refuse to deal with severe mental and substance problems in healthy relationships. It may be the case that she will go on to find someone who enables her in these things, but that someone should not be you.

britx is actually on to something. Go talk to someone yourself - there's no shame in it. Being in a long-term relationship and dealing with problems like that truly changes you. Four months after breaking up with the girl I mentioned earlier, I'm still not the same person I was before I started dating her. My "rebound" process didn't involve going out and getting a lot of random - hers did apparently, lol - it involved a TON of introspection and serious thinking. The relationship ended up turning me into a person I really didn't like, and so I started analyzing the who, what, when, why and how of a LOT of things. It really helped, and I'm happier and more put together now than I think I've ever been.

Cut off all contact with her. Delete the dirty pictures and videos of her that you whack off to at night. Get rid of her stuff. Stop talking about her to your friends. Look at yourself and figure out first truly - and unjudgmentally - who you are, and then from there figure out who you want to be, and start genuinely spending your energy on that. You will get over her, and you absolutely will be a better person for it.

 

+1. That crazy bitch must really get around. I wasted some of my life on her also. There are sane women out there. Be patient.