Bonsai

My wife just got me this bonsai for my birthday. I have wanted one for a long time. Who knows anything about bonsai?

 

They are small and very quiet.

 

I have plenty of ignorance on bonsai already, I don't need you guys helping with that.
There has to be somebody that actually knows something. Dsapsis? Metalhead? DaveK?
Dern? Hahahahahahaha, nope!!!

 

Dont water too little or too much.

Keep away from dogs

 

Especially Dave's dog. I tried the bonsai thing, but I discovered that my chi was off center.

 

I only know Buckaroo...

 

How deep are you into it?

I watched some documentary about bonsai (the artform more than the species), it's pretty fascinating. Bonsai masters basically devote their lives to perfecting their art, you're not hitting your peak until you've been doing it for 25 years or so. The trees from the top bonsai masters sell for 6 figures, there's been some in the million dollar range too. It's really a blast from the past where people could think beyond the next month/quarter.

 

I seriously resent being pooled with those damn fools, but... you rang? Send a pic with some size scale and info on the species and I can give you some ideas on lighting and water.
<edit: speaking of fools> I do see that you attached an image to the post, but I dont see them for some reason. I have the same trouble when M-head posts pics. Must be coincidence.

 

I know you're not new here...

 

He's having a senior moment.

 

I thought it was just work, but they don't show here at home either. 'sup Dave.

 

At this point, about 6 hours.

 

It is 10" tall and 12" wide. It is a Green Mound Juniper, Juniperus Procumbens Nana. I am keeping it indoors for now, but the instructions say it is hardy and can live outdoors. I am not sure I believe it can survive a Northern Wisconsin winter in its little pot without freezing.

 

The gardening equivalent of foot binding.

 

I have no idea what the hell is going on around here.

Any plant that small falls prey to Toro. Any plant bigger than that falls prey to Husqvarna.

Fuck vegetation.

 

i had an IKEA one from 2008-2010, then moved here and couldn't bring plants. my brother still has it. no clue what type it is.

 

@Metalhead should get into that craft:

 

Professor Hikita says "Buckaroo great warrior... Not tiny tree"...