Anyone delt with aging parents with possible Alzheimers, protecting assets etc?

My sympathies. You have your hands full, and this won't be easy for anyone involved.

I think others have made the important points. A lawyer who knows Florida law (preferably in his county of residence). There is a lot to unpack in the story, and good legal help can assist in determining if his GF is/was acting in his best interest which is legally required of a POA holder. Get a copy of the deed to his house from the county recorder of deeds. See the exact way ownership is recorded. It will give you pointers as to how to proceed with the house (sale, buyout, etc.) If ownership is in equal shares, there's no reason to accept less than half of the equity in the house if the house is sold or he is bought out. Did the GF and your dad have a written agreement when they bought the house as to how it would be handled if one person left/passed/etc? Do they have a domestic life/partnership contract? Is the house in a land trust?

Local legal advice - especially if your dad is changing his legal residence to Kentucky.

- Medicare (not Medicaid - two different programs with different rules) will help pay for in-home care for disabled folks for at least 100 days after each 3 day+ hospitalization. You will probably need advice from someone (perhaps elder care social services worker) who deals with Medicare for the disabled. This assumes he is on Medicare now, and isn't exempt from medicare. If he's covered by another retirement health program, then look into what it can offer.

If you are going to challenge whether his GF is acting in his interests, also check into his Social Security account for designated assistant settings. Check any retirement pensions, annuities, etc. for beneficiary designations. Check beneficiary on any life insurance policies. Identify and locate all bank accounts, investment accounts, safe deposit boxes, savings bonds, etc. so that you know where they are and their current status. For bank accounts, check and see who is on the account or has access. Same with credit/debit cards, etc. Have the lawyers search out any other titled/deeded property he may own either singly or jointly. See if his monthly benefits are going into a joint account with GF.

- When his funds run out, then move to Medicaid. Start the process when its clear that his funds will run out in 6 months or so, because it takes time to move through all the paperwork and process. Again, there are people you can hire to help with this.

If his assets haven't been moved out of his name by now, you probably can't save much of them as the law is that his assets must first go to his care. But as noted, right now the priority is getting dad good care and keeping him safe.

I had to do this process with my mom. Its heartbreaking. Just realize that the caregivers you are working with do want to help within the rules they have to observe. Don't let the frustrations cause you to lose your temper with them, as you need them more than they need you.

This is hard on the GF as well, as she's been in the relationship with your dad for years. Your dad may have intentionally set things up to benefit her thinking he would go first. It may not be as one-sided as you may be seeing it currently. Then again, you may be seeing things clearly. Its hard to separate emotions from reason in stressful times.

 

Lots of good advice here.

If your father is collecting Social Security you will also need to be set up has his "representative payee". This allows you to control his SS for his living expenses.

Good luck with everything.