Not even close. “Nasty” takes the cake. C’mon, how can you beat a porn flick called “Sex With the Headless Corpse of the Virgin Astronaut”?
I bought a brand new Hoover in about 1981. I think it was $64.00 or so, which was a fair bit on the military salary of the time. It had a large zip up pouch for a disposable paper bag. If you hit the switch and were suddenly regaled with an aroma reminiscent of Scoot's trailer, it was time for a new bag. I know that most of you never met Scoot, but you get the idea. You smoked a joint with someone just like him. Anyway, that old Hoover kept on sucking dirt for the next 30 years with nothing more than a new drive belt every other Inauguration day. Eventually, the spindle for the belt got so well polished that the rubber couldn't grip it anymore. I tried to rough it up, but it was made of some kind of military grade alloy that was impervious to everything that I threw at it. Reluctantly, I replaced it with a brand new Super Surgilator Turbo Boost thing that looked like a Transformer's sex toy. It lasted two years at best. Now, I just buy the wife a new vacuum cleaner every single Christmas. I'll be the first to admit that there is absolutely no point to this entire post, but I miss my old K-Mart Hoover.
And, do we have separate rules for vintage Beebolympics? (I'm guessing that might cause a facial tic in Mongo. Let's have him bring Breckon in on this.)
