I was just on the phone...

And I thought I would ease out a gentle little fart....

Oh my god, it sounded like an ocean liner was blowing its horn asking permission to dock.

The guy on the other end heard it. Had to. He just paused mid sentence, for an extended period of time, and then fell right back in to conversation.

The whole goddamn house stinks now, but I certainly feel much better!

 

Customer?

 

Blame the dog

 

Proctologist. He was waiting for the echo.

 

the end.

 

For the fart or for the post?

 

Coworker

 

Well at least you didn’t shit yourself.

 

I bet he did, he's just not telling us the whole story.

 

Own it. I just made my ol lady slam her forehead on the kitchen counter laughing so hard at a 13 second gurgler I busted out while I was cooking dinner. True story.

 

My dog sneezed while she was pooping when I took her for a walk this afternoon. Shot that turd a coupla feet!!

 

Lol, reminds me of the GF's cat.

A stray had walked up the gallery and evidently her cat was somewhat upset about this.

Her pupils dilated,
Her ears pointed firmly forward,
The fur was puffed out,
Her back arched up tight,
The tail was as raised as straight as it could ever be,
and at her first scream this turd just shot right out!

My poorly controlled laughter kind of disturbed the proceedings afterwards....

 

That shit's funny.

 

I sometimes take care of business while I’m on the phone takin’ care of business. The person on the other end doesn’t know, of course, until the flush occurs.

 

As a comment on their contribution to the call?

 

Depending on the job at hand, a grunt might give it away.

 

You need to change your log-in. Ritchie hacked your password.

 

How can you not tell the difference between a squeaker and a fog horn? You've been farting your entire life and you should know what what kind of colon genie is bottled up.