corporal Punishment

Saw a parent lose it with their kid in the paddock. No contact. As a parent of a teenager I understand the frustration sometimes. Lord knows my kid has really tested my patience lately.

Have you ever struck your kid??

 

fuganeg yes! if you're not spanking your kid....i doubt you're coming up with punishment severe enough to deter their behavior. there is a strong inverse relationship between a kid's disciplinary behavior and whether or not corporal punishment was used.

now corporal punishment is quite different than losing it. losing it is never good. it's losing control. all of our spankings were done controlled. told him/her...they agreed they had it coming....dealt it out. never, ever, ever punish in anger.

 

Whopped mine with a belt 1 time..he had levis on, and I swung just enough that he felt it, scared him more than anything else..I caught him stealing a dollar from my wifes purse..the next day, I took him to the local police dept..called ahead to ask if it was o.k. to bring him there for a lesson. The desk sargent was more than happy to oblige..he got a tour of the jail cells, no contact with any inmates..then the sarg, locked him in a cell for about 5 mins..that's all it took..he Never took anything again.. That was about 25 yrs ago..he was 12 at the time.

 

i have to admit...i giggle inside when doing this sort of thing with my kids.

 

And I would say, I do to..With regards to your info. re: never punish when your not in control, or out of anger is spot on...well said..:up:

 

absolutely...never punish out of anger......i smack my kid on the butt just hard enough for him to feel it and get embarrassed but that happens very rarely anymore.....problem is now he is 4 years old and tough as nails so now he thinks its a game and giggles.....

 

:up:

 

My dad did something like that to me when I brought home a bad report card. He told me to get in the car and he calmly drove down to skid row. He told me he could go ahead and drop me off now because thats where I would end up if I continued to get bad grades. He let me know I still had the option to do well in school and make something of myself. It's something I'll never forget!

 

I have never been abused by my parents. Hell, I had it better than most kids. But I will admit, I have had my ass beat on more than one occasion. I deserved every one I got too and probably several I didnt get.

 

My dad spanked me with a belt a few times. When I was twelve, I stole a toy from a store. He caught me and took me to the police station, where the cooperative desk sargeant locked me in a cell.

I learned: 1) My dad was a bully, he was 6'3" 225 lb in atheletic condition and he beat up a 90-lb, 3'11" kid. 2) Never trust Dad or cops. They were both full of shit. The "lesson" was contrived and obvious even at that age.

So I learned to sneak and steal. Since I could not trust anything he said, I also ignored his advice about slutty girls (OK, that was fun for a while) alcohol or drugs. I also learned from those "lessons" to defy authority because it was obviously bullshit. (In the eyes of a 12-y.o.)

It took me to the age of 39 to stop abusing myself, drugs, alcohol, and the people around me. I had to unlearn all the BS that Dad showed me by his example, when he hit me and took me to the jail. Those "lessons" were incredibly destructive to my life.

If Dad had sat me down and explained WHY the things I did were bad, I would have understood. He never once spoke to me like an adult or even like a kid with a brain who could have understood his lessons. It was always hit first, followed by incarceration, either in my room or later at the jail. I can't recall how many times he said "Sit there and think about what you did!" When slamming a door in my face. Trouble was, I didn't KNOW what was wrong with what I did, and he seemed unable or unwilling to tell me.

So from my POV, smacking your kid and taking them to the cop shop for a "lesson" is a horrible idea. In fact, hitting any other human being for any other reason than self-defense is a pretty poor form of communication that invariably fails. (Making somebody afraid of your physical might does nothing to correct their underlying behavioral causes.)

Yes, I have smacked my kids a couple times. It was a mistake. The lesson could have been conveyed better in non-physically-threatening ways. To those who say "The kid is out of control and that is the only way he/she gets the message, I would suggest that you failed to establish lines of communication that would engender respect many years earlier, and that the child does not deserve to suffer a physical attack to cover your previous shortcomings. If your parenting attempts result in an uncontrollable child, then counseling for parent and child are in order.

 

My dad put me through a window once. and broke a pool stick over my back. Once he sent me to school with the entire left side of my body purple. Nother time he busted my face up even more after i got jumped by 4 guys who wanted my bike that I saved for 4 months to buy. I can keep going.

Needless to say I get involved whenever I see a parent strike their child. If they've got the balls to do something like that in public they probably do worse when no ones around.

 

You were confused about getting spanked and going to jail after your dad caught you stealing?? You think the lesson caused you to abuse drugs and alcohol??

 

So wait, let me get this straight, because of your situation and what happened to you, spanking and the other methods are completely wrong and don't work? Am I reading that correctly?

 

Sadly there's a lot of truth to that.

 

I will tell you this now. If you got in front of me if I had to spank Mason and dared to say something to me, you would NOT walk away. I can promise you that. And it has NOTHING to do with abusing my child.

 

Beating a kid is wrong and not the answer to anything. Children shouldnt be abused. There is a massive difference between someone spanking their child and someone just relentlessly beating their kids. This is why physical contact isnt allowed anymore because people dont have the good sense to differentiate between the two.

I was spanked as a kid. I was never hit anywhere but my ass.

 

Not necessarily.

 

Thank you. Exactly right. There are a lot of misconceptions going on here between spanking and abusing and beating. There is a huge difference.

 

My perspective is a little different then most on this. I've had to deal with situations ending in more extreme outcomes.

Mind you I'm not referring to a simple swipe of the bottom here, or trying to preach how to be a parent.

But personally, I don't condone domestic violence of any sort - whether it be against spouse or child.

 

1- you don't know me, so don't assume you could kick my ass. Internet tough guy.
2- There are other ways to go about correcting the behavior of an abusive parent. Reporting it to authorties comes to mind. Having them thrown off premises maybe?
3- by law you can't hit a grown man, but in your eyes it's ok to hit a defensless child?