I can't stop farting.

Anyone have a good remedy to help me not fart so much

 

Totally serious

 

go take a dump?

 

put a cork in yer ass!

 

Bean-O

 

Lay off the Taco Bell!

 

When you gotta blow you gotta blow. Do what I do and stand beside someone in public and let 'er out slowly and silently. Then look at them really nasty and be like "WTF man? That's nasty." and walk away. He'll know the truth, but everyone else won't.

 

^^^^^
you dirty crop duster:tut:

 

lmao....

 

Death Chamber

Today at the Car Show in the DC Convention Center I went to the Smart Car display and sat in a Smart Car with the windows shut. I had just had spicy wings and a spicy chicken sandwich for lunch at Hooters. Stomach was rumbling....I let a RAUNCHY death bomb loose in the car.....promptly exited the vehicle and sealed the "present" in the car for the next unsuspecting visitor.


Elevators are good for that trick, too. Often at work I'll blast before I exit and leave a gift for the next rider on another floor.

Yeah..I'm evil.

 

Thanks for all the great advice! I have a weird stomach from stress, anxiety, and a poor diet. Ate some ceasar salad and chili the other day which gave me food poisoning and made me puke 12 hours over 50 times with about 30 craps. It emptied every liquid out of my stomach and digestive system before I felt better. I ate a yogurt and some strawberry toast with milk. Now I am letting the biggest farts about every 45 seconds. :up:

 

Nights like these Im glad a chick isnt here so i can just fart all night long.

 

The best trick is to fart in your hand and go up to a friend and say hey smell this new cologne hold up your hand to their nose and let them enjoy. Another good one is to make peanut butter balls out of a peanut butter sandwich that you chew spit out then roll into a ball. bring a few on a plate and eat one first make that mmm noise and your friend will grab one eat then wonder wtf is this.

 

You act like this is a problem?!

 

Don't get bent. Just laugh it off. Think of it as comedy relief during a boring day.

 

Too much dairy. Tha's not good for a stress stomach. I can't remember what is.

 

BRAT diet to get the stomach back on track. Bread, Rice, Apples, Tea. Not just these foods but include as much of them as you can until normality returns.

Side note, the bad thing about food poisoning is that you do not get to die at the end of it. Got food poisoning for the first time last year, son of a bitch, death would have been a relief.

 

If I meet you at a trackday this year, remind me not to invite you into my trailer, LOL!

To the OP, Gas-X works pretty well! Oh, and if you've been sick with the runs and puking, eat a clear diet for a few days...only things you can see through...broth, jello, etc. It helps! No dairy, that's the worst thing you can eat after an "episode". Start with that, then the BRAT diet as mentioned above.

 

Well, let everyone at the track know and no one will be drafting you