Divorce help - God Damn Epidemic

That’s ok. When it goes to shit, there’s a new post in the YooToob thread for you

 

Yeah, I was going to bring that up but thought I'd be nice As I'm almost certain to be in the top 5 longest married individuals on the beeb (and maybe top 3), personally I think most of the participants in this thread suck at choosing women. I can guarantee that my wife was hardly the hottest woman around nor anywhere close to being great in bed. What she is is be the hardest working individual I've ever been around. She's like a Timex that has a perpetual winder, and she's reminded me since day one that she doesn't need me to complete her. I'm perfectly OK with that.

 

Well, I'm not necessarily judging people who choose to end a marriage. I made it 27 years, but our priorities were in very different places, and there was no way to compromise to satisfy both of us. That being said, we probably both changed quite a bit from when we started. Nothing wrong with choosing to move on to be happy. Point being that we were partners for many years, until we weren't. A lot of these guys are starting off with no clue what the woman is really about, except she's hot.

 

Jimmy Soul was your english teacher?

 

I love your last sentence...cracked me up! I guess I got lucky so I don't really understand the situations that people got into on this thread. No, truth is, I'm an exceptional judge of character and that's what guided me down my path

 

Anybody marrying a girl just because she's hot is doomed to fail.

 

oops lol

 

Beat me to it!!!

man your wife is Uglyyy. Yea but she sure can cook!

 

When I first joined the beeb, that would have earned you a name change.

 

100%

Co-dependency is never a good sign, and if anybody ever asks me what the secret to a good marriage is I will often ask in return, "Do you need this person to be happy yourself? Do they need you?" If either of those questions is answered in the affirmative it's going to be tough over the long term. Nobody wants to feel responsible for another person's happiness. You should want to be happy with yourself first, and extending that happiness outwards through interaction becomes a wonderful bonus.

 

For no other reason that this reminded me of the following.
Evil takes planning...

 

And the majority of men are getting bad information/advice. I remember going through the pre-marital counseling stuff prior to my marriage. It was here, read this book, take this personality test, etc. which was not entirely bad, but they didn't tell you about the really difficult things that happen in life that cause indifference between people like coping with tragedy, major family medical issues, and what really happens when you have children.

I've spoken with quite a few younger men and the majority of them have no intention of getting married. Altogether, I can't say as I blame them. Not because I don't believe in fairy tales, true love, the one, etc.. But more so because people just have a whole lot of quit in em' these days. Once you reach a certain age, the idea of betting someone half your shit you'll be together forever doesn't really sound appealing.

 

For sure. How I avoided one in my first year here I'll never know.

 

Well even that, I shouldn't judge, as I was pretty shallow when I was younger. And kudos to those that can find the 'whole package', though the aesthetic is always a point of personal opinion.

 

Aesthetic was never my thing, I went for brains. An intelligent, strong woman was my turn on. My wife was attending college when we moved in together and she used to bitch when she got 100% in a class. She'd claim that she did extra credit and should have received a 102! I knew I'd found a keeper

 

Haha me and my wife laugh at that part every time. That song is amazing. Also her best friend just played it at their wedding this past weekend at her own request. Humor is a good attribute to have.

 

I am so glad you got out of this situation relatively unscathed. I was cringing reading it. Point of clarification: you never fell in love, you fell in lust and embroidered the rest around it. You never knew her. The person you imagined never existed. Ask yourself why that happened and learn from it.

I do not understand how people (in this context, men) go to the ends of the Earth to hunt down the best sprocket, trailer, tires for who cares, backyard grills, living room televisions, and on and on and on, and sometimes do seemingly fuckall due diligence and research on both a relative and absolute basis to pick out your life partner?

At times, this thread has been astounding. None of those foregoing prior questions are internal. I come away with a sense that there isn't as much self-discovery and declaration and understanding of what it takes to be content, and to achieve a harmonious relationship, as perhaps some of you would have liked prior to pledging your trough to another.

Do you ask yourselves what you require in a partner? If not, why not? Don't you deserve it? Not a person you have a good time with sporadically, a partner. Because if you get married or into a domestic partnership situation, that is what you are getting, particularly if you have children.

And it is profoundly unfair, to men. There is no question. And yet, the current construct was created by men. No question.

There is no way on God's green Earth that I would get married if I were a man. No way.

What say you? What is the way forward?

Here's a completely separate P.S. Since I'm blathering on... having some thoughts... I have enjoyed both @pickled egg and @CausticYarn contributions to this venue over time.

Regarding @pickled egg , always an intelligent, interesting, acerbic, can do will do kind of guy. Righteous. Too controlling for my taste, but, people have different tastes. There were some very nasty remarks made toward my reproductive capabilities, hit my sell by date, and while I sort of? blew them off given the circunstances, I don't know that I'll see him the same way agin.

Regarding @CausticYarn Wow. To be so upfront with the trauma she experienced, growing up, and thereafter. A tremendous amount of courage. That's a lot to take on. And so, I won't.

To the best of my knowledge, Sarah has never instigated a conversation about the demise of her marriage with @pickled egg . In this thread, or any other.

You all can check back and verify. My experience has been that she has been defending herself in this venue. From @D-Zum, who is in my estimation a very loyal friend and has a blind spot. In this venue, she has, in my estimation, not presented herself as an attention whore.

Having said that, I wouldn't continue to participate in this venue if Fred and I got divorced, there would be a lot of reasons here and there... he was here first, I am much more into watching racing, he so enjoys the tech talks and I enjoy reading his inputs, and on and on...

It's quite odd, did @pickled egg actually ask @CausticYarn not to continue to contribute to this venue? That seems reasonable?

 

Seems a fitting thread to discuss

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...killed-domestic-violence-double-shooting.html