Suicide hits close to home today.

My nephew. 18. I don't have words. I want to be so damn pissed at him for doing it, as I would anyone else. But I know his circumstances and what a shitty hand he was dealt for parents. That's who I'm pissed at. But making a point and/or screaming at my sister at the top of my lungs isn't going to fix anything or make her suffer any more than she is as she found him. He'd hung himself in the basement. I'm gutted. My nerves are shot and my heart is broken beyond belief. The rest of my family is the same.

There had been a huge rift between my sister and I over the past few years and he wasn't sure who was right or wrong and he didn't know who to side with. Didn't matter. He and I were always very close. Even if we went a while without speaking, we always picked up right where we left off. The rift between his mother and I did cause us to lose touch for a while, but I would get secret updates from my mom about him. Earlier this year, he actually reached out after he turned 18 and we started communicating again on a fairly regular basis. We even snuck in a couple lunches and talked about going fishing soon. I waited too long. I should've went sooner. I could've went sooner, and didn't.

I'm filled with many regrets tonight. I'll patch things up with my sister, though too little, too late for the whole gang to ever be normal again. He had his faults, but he was a beautiful soul, and I miss him already. I've cried for him and my soul is bruised, but I'll cherish the good times. The hunting, the fishing and my favorite, introducing him to MotoGP in Indy and buying him a Ninja shirt which he wore for 3 days straight.

His name was Spencer and he wasn't only my nephew, he was my friend.

 

So sorry for such a terrible loss. May you and all affected find peace and comfort

 

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you find some peace, and if it's healthy for you, reconciliation with your sister.

RIP, Spencer.

 

Sorry for your loss. Prayers sent for you and your family.

 

Wow. Very sorry for your loss. Stay strong and don't beat yourself up. Prayers for your whole family.

 

Sorry to hear that man! I feel for 'ya.

Grieve, make things right with the sis, and move on best you can.... in time.

 

Sorry to hear this, saying prayers for you and your family.

 

I'm sorry man.

 

Jesus, I'm so sorry Eddie.

I know its probably easy to say you should have done more, you should have been there sooner. Its not your fault, so don't be hard on yourself.

 

Wow, I'm so sorry

Like dart said, don't beat yourself up. Hang in there

 

Sorry for your loss.

 

Sorry to hear that!

Don't beat yourself up. try to remember the good times you had with him during those 18 years!

 

Damn. Sorry doesn't seem to cover it, but it's true.

 

Aww damn. So sorry for you, man. Prayers for you and family.

 

hate to hear this type news. My thoughts are with his family and friends.

 

Very sorry for your loss. 18 is way too young.

 

Dam, I can't imagine how you feel. 18 is just way to young to leave this earth.

We all make mistakes, we all can look back and see things we could have done differently, in the end, we are only humane and live accordingly.

Prayers, and condolences to you and yours, may Spencer rest in peace.

 

Very sorry for your loss. Spencer was lucky to have you in his life. Can't imagine how rough you feel right now, just hope that in time you can find peace with everything that's happened.

 

Condolences and heartfelt prayers sent your way Eddie..
It's such a sad thing to go through...the grief and anger...all at once is something I can relate to.....

 

Man that tore me up just reading it. I cant imagine what you are going through. Try to focus on the good times and work through the differences with your family, if at all possible.