Okay time to liven things up a bit with some jokes!

Knock knock

 

Who's there?

 

Hike

 

Hike who

(like I don't know what's coming...)

 

Gullible Beeber.
Motoboy waits with bated breath.
Sets the perfect trap.

 

Hike who fooled no one.
Gixxernaut just played along.
But I liked the joke.

 

You'd have gotten me.

 

I am no longer allowed to help my son with his American History homework when I told that the answer to, "How did Paul Revere complete his midnight ride?" was, "He did it like this, he did it like that, he did it with a whiffleball bat."

 

HR wants me to sign up for the 401k at work.

To hell with that... The 5k they talked me into last year damn near killed me.

 

When I walked into the house from work today, I said to the missus, "I've been so damn busy today, I don't know if I'm coming or going."

She looked me right in the eyes and said, "You're going, honey."

"When you're coming, you look like a stroke victim trying to whistle."

 

A man walks into a church confessional and says to the priest, "Bless me, father, for I have sinned. I was with seven different women last night."

The priest is silent for a moment, and then says "Go home and cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it down in one gulp.

"And I'll be forgiven?" asks the man.

"No," replies the priest, "but it will wipe that fucking smirk off your face!"

 

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony but you can never eat too much pie because the Sin of π is always 0.

 

Every horse in the Kentucky Derby traces its lineage back to Secretariat.

This is a clear case of neighpotism.

 

I'm waiting for someone to get on their high horse about the lack of diversity.

 

We live in troubled times when someone can just trot out a claim like that and everyone just equines it with the truth.

 

I got a knock, knock joke, but somebody else has to start it.

 

(watch me walk into this one)
Knock, knock

 

Who's there?