. . Anna didn't know I roadraced when we met as it was the off season. She wasn't thrilled at her first race. Regardless, she went to almost every race until I retired. She kept notes, times, jet changes, etc. Made samiches picked up broken parts and threw `em into the back of the truck and toted me to the horse pistol a couple of times. 35 years and counting. Love her more today than when we got married.
Mine would just Bitch about what I was doing, and I would tell her, why don't you find a hobby or do something you want to do and if it is something that interest me, I might jump in there with you. So what do you want to do? Oh I don't know...nothing I guess. Well guess what...not interested in that!! I'm out!!
you didn't. I do feel very fortunate to have found her and yes i do truly believe that she is my better half. I just don't agree with your statement that all relationships are one sided and that as soon as the going get tough it's the women that lose respect for the men and will abandon them. That's all.
My girl supports me. Has made almost every race since my prov Nov days. She's not my wife though. I remember I was starting to date this other girl before and she claimed her "hobbies" were watching TV, hanging with friends, and going out to eat. There are definitely some lames out there.
Wishing you all the best Joe. Been following what's going on with you and I know it can't be easy, but keep the spirits and fight up as you have been.
Well as an overgrown kid here. My only wife told me once it was racing or her. I told her I loved her and I was going to miss her. I was wrong. I didn't miss her. Lol. Now my current love is the best I've ever had. Last yr before GNF was close to her due date for my little boy. After all the problems she's had during the pregnancy I had decided to stay home. Money was a factor and we'll I had not missed being there when my other kids where born. She told me to go to GNF. I had worked to hard not to go. She insisted I go. So along with my oldest kid I went to GNF. After I come off track after loosing race by literally 3inches I pull in to put to find my daughter packing all my stuff and it piled up by car.. lol Then my kid tells me we have to go like now. Seems my woman had been in hospital since noon and it's now 4.30 and I'm looking at a 11 hr drive if I haul ass to get to hospital. My 1st boy was born at 12.48am while I was driving through Mississippi doing 90. My kid and woman kept this from me till after the race. Now sirs that's a great woman. I'm so lucky. And I know it. I wish everyone had a woman like mine. Be safe. Steven Isenhower #52
apparently I am super naive or totally lucky with my wife. We may not see eye to eye on every little things but I can't recall anything other then my first solo climb she hasn't supported me with. Just a quick example, when I was battling cancer, going through radiation she would lay in the room on a blow up mattress even though she wasn't supposed to be in the room. I said and treated her horrible through those 3 years and even telling her she stressed me more then the cancer. I really have no idea how she did it. married for 14 years,together for 22 and been through some shit..
I'm not 100% with CdS on this one, but he's on the right track. I've had to learn it the hard way... You don't see until its too late how you contribute to a woman's lack of respect. Where he and I part ways is that its 100% on her to show respect. We have to do it, too. We just have to be ready/willing to respond appropriately to a lack of respect. There's definite behaviors that will lead to better relationships. If you're a dude that always does what she wants to do, always respond with "I don't know, where do you want to eat?" and rarely/never takes the lead, even if she doesn't like the direction, then its probably not going to end well.
I will always have Darren's back, even when he is being a dipshit. Same in reverse - I never question if he has my back. I know he does, even when I am being a dip shit. We get through it together. (I think he only sticks around because I helped him change a flat tire on our first date to a track day at DCTC and he wanted to see if I could surprise him that much again. I think I did when he came home to an empty sink and a full dish rack the other day.) It isn't all unicorns and sunshine. But there is no one else on the planet that will put up with me and carry me through like he does. I am one fucked up chick.
maybe that's where I'm confused...I don't think I ever indicated it's 100% on her to show respect. I clearly stated it's the guys fault if she's not respecting him and that mutual respect isn't an inherent requirement.
shit Chris...if only I'd been able to figure all this shit out 10 years ago...of course then I wouldn't have that memory of pegging your funmover off the limiter while passing people on the right on 95.
Since you're repeating this last part, I now feel compelled to ask: how do you stay (long-term) with a woman you don't have any respect for? I almost thought that I misunderstood the first time you mentioned that.
This is me just being a girl and thinking out loud: But I wonder if many problems stem from the desire to feel as if you always have to be IN love. That high gear, full throttle, endorphin dump that draws you to another person over and over again. That feeling that is most certain to wane. And what is left after that feeling wanes should be a deep, wide pool of love, respect, and companionship to draw from. If you don't build a foundation when you are IN love - you won't have it when that feeling wanes. We are all driven to instant gratification these days, and long term relationships just don't work that way - they are steady and patient and sometimes an all out shit show while you both grow and change. /end girly thoughts.
Trust builds foundation. You have to open to hear how you messed up as well as working on it. Let's face it. If you race you have problems that need working on. Lol. But it goes both ways. Men who race know the desire we hold on doing it. But we can't be one sided when she wants to do something out of our comfortable zone. Take 2. And let's face it the woman has to be crazy to be with a racer. Lol. So it's a good fit. Steven Isenhower #52