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Divorce help - God Damn Epidemic

Discussion in 'General' started by zx6rfool, Sep 14, 2018.

  1. StaccatoFan

    StaccatoFan My 13 year old is faster than your President

    I never considered that in any jeopardy whatsoever.
     
  2. kangasj

    kangasj Banned

    Boy ain't that the truth!
     
  3. Yzasserina

    Yzasserina sound it out

    That's interesting. I believe you.
     
  4. I was with my ex for 8 years (not married, no kids). I ended things, the separation took 1 weekend for her to move her stuff out of my house, and that was it. Is there a legitimate reason for marriage? Especially if you don't plan on having children? The tax break in no way offsets the possible losses from a divorce.
     
    The Great One and badmoon692008 like this.
  5. StaccatoFan

    StaccatoFan My 13 year old is faster than your President

    There's also the "Marriage Penalty" to consider for Tax purposes. Single...you file...you each pay your share based on your individual brackets....married....you combine, and it puts you in a higher bracket....not enough withheld, and you get to write a nice fat check to the IRS.

    Married I paid in every year....now...I get great tax returns....just makes NO sense to be married. It's an antiquated practice that was designed to combine families wealth and generate stability over generations. It doesn't work anymore.
     
  6. Yzasserina

    Yzasserina sound it out

    We seem to be wandering a bit far afield here and maybe should have one of the admins combine this with the overall divorce thread, so the OP can wade through all that past knowledge and perspective.

    OP: Please get an attorney, straightaway.

    Dieselboy: Perhaps not. Who knows? There is legal marriage and there is spiritual marriage. The former is subject to the vagaries of the laws of the jurisdictions in which you marry. The latter is up to you. Does is matter to you that you have pledged and received that pledge in return to witness one another's lives? What does that pledge mean, did you know who you were pledging it to, what you were willing to do to honor and unwilling to do to forsake it? You define legitimacy.

    D-Zum: IMO, a very narrow view of what can happen. IOW, just because it happened to you, doesn't mean it happens to everyone. I'll give you an example: when my husband was going through a career change and gaining his footing on that path, he earned significantly less than I did at that point. Because I have an accounting background, I knew I wanted no part of the standard deduction for his current income level, and intervened to have more withheld, thereby avoiding the unpleasant surprise come tax time. Perhaps productive ongoing conversations with a more competent accountant could have done that for you as well. And I also knew that from a marginal tax rate and therefore financial perspective, his income earning level was not "worth it", but it was worth it to me, because I pledged to make an investment in him, and in our marriage. Perhaps viewing marriage through the prism of monetary value is less important to some than it is to others, people are different. In any case, a broader view from a tax perspective:

    https://taxfoundation.org/tax-cuts-and-jobs-act-marriage-penalty-marriage-bonus/
     
  7. speedluvn

    speedluvn Man card Issuer

    Going through my situation, it’s not the house or material things. I want the custody issue resolved more so than anything. I try not to use the word hate but I can so understand how it can seep into a person’s vocabulary during this situation.
     
    Yzasserina likes this.
  8. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner

    No honeydoo’s....maybe one of the best things about being single again OP. :beer:
     
  9. StaccatoFan

    StaccatoFan My 13 year old is faster than your President

    My Brother is a CPA. I had an uncooperative spouse who didn’t max or contribute to her 401k to minimize our overall taxable income.

    Our incomes were similar. We both work in IT. She’s dumb with money. I presented many paths that would save us a lot of money in many ways besides taxes. Just life in general. She didn’t want to play nice.

    And I know life is more than money. But money represents opportunity to me.
    Retirement is important to me because neither of my parents lived to see that opportunity to not have to go to work every day. I want to plant that flag in the ground and live to see retirement for them.
     
    SuddenBraking likes this.
  10. ZimZam

    ZimZam Well-Known Member

    While it is an uncomfortable situation, you'll be better off in the long run. My only advice would be to attorney up ASAP. Get the best one you can afford. Don't put it off.
     
    Yzasserina likes this.
  11. Yzasserina

    Yzasserina sound it out

    And finally, a meaningful, responsive, helpful reply from you, not jaundiced with bitterness of what has gone before.

    The comment about your parents is quite poignant, thank you for sharing that.

    This way progress lies.

    IMO.
     
  12. This thread should be merged with the bigger divorce thread.
     
  13. StaccatoFan

    StaccatoFan My 13 year old is faster than your President

    I think it’s a misinterpretation of my tone that you all sense bitterness. I feel like I’m quite past that in many ways. But I’ve also been told quite often that I’m an intense person. So be it.

    My primary concern in my sharing is for the OP to make him aware of what he can do to protect himself in this situation. For his sake and his kids.
     
  14. Yzasserina

    Yzasserina sound it out

    Yes stated in post 86, appreciate that that sentiment is endorsed.
     
  15. pfhenry

    pfhenry Well-Known Member

    i thought about the acting in bad faith aspect... maybe sell under radar prices to ur buddys(does she know the real value)((i doubt it)) and suck up the monetary loss knowing ur toys are being baby sat not being pawned at some rip off price... claim u needed lawyer money if questioned
     
    Fencer likes this.
  16. Scotty87

    Scotty87 Lacks accountability

    I dunno man. You may be able to get away with that with a dirt bike or something without a title, I suppose. When I was going through my D I casually mentioned to my lawyer (who is a friends wife) that I was going to sell all my bikes, guns and tools for pennies to friends. This was before she filed but had left and I knew it was coming. She literally yelled at me not to do that.

    I think the whole ‘spend all the money sell everything for a buck line’ is something that’s been romanticized over the years and isn’t really possible anymore. And it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t know the value. There are independent auditors who WILL be hired to inspect your property and valuables and determine the fair market value, if her attorney is even halfway competent.

    They’re gonna get their money. It’s as certain as death and taxes. Best to just nut up and get through it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2018
  17. pfhenry

    pfhenry Well-Known Member

    What title lol everything is a race specific vehicle?
     
  18. ton

    ton Arf!

  19. Metalhead

    Metalhead Dong pilot

    Nail her mom.
     
    Chino52405, scottn, MachineR1 and 5 others like this.
  20. kenessex

    kenessex unregistered user

    Looking at this realistically, you have been convenient for her for the last 7 years. You are no longer convenient. Accept that your feelings for her are no longer the same as her feelings for you. She has made that clear in both words and actions. The current condition for you is that she has set the terms for moving forward and it is a divorce based on her actions. GET AN ATTORNEY!!! This is just business, now. Protect your assets and get custody of your children. Act first and decisively. She has already shown that she will use you and will probably attempt to play on your emotions and leverage the fact that she knows you still love her. Be tough and understand that your response to each of her requests and compromise attempts will have to be NO. Let your attorney deal exclusively with her attorney. It will cost you money in the short term and save you money in the long term and preserve your relationship with your kids and possibly her.

    You may notice a trend here;
    Get an attorney.
     
    socalrider and Yzasserina like this.

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