I saw a clip the other day, a guy talking about the fact that he has been married a few but never had a wife. Technically, I was married a year but the logistics of two people seeking professional advancement beyong a Bachelor degree, meant that I never had a wife or I a husband to my ex. I stayed in college to pursue a Master, she went offshore (oil&gas). Except, for a two days of honeymoon and a week around Thanksgiving (with limited time together due to an ever-changing offshore schedule), that was it. I think the time to materialize the divorce papers (which were signed immediately), took about half the year of the marriage. The 50% rate, I believe is generally agreed to be a misrepresentation as the number of divorces seem to include individuals that are on going through the process a second or third or... I kept it simple. One divorce was enough for me.
We have everything filed now. Just waiting for a judge to sign off and make it official. I'm being told that won't be until October 27. Was hoping it would be a lot sooner. The dogs are driving me crazy because I'm the only thing they have now. She's supposed to take 3 of them once she's permanently settled. Loneliness, lack of sleep, lack of appetite are really taking their toll. Dating websites are a sad, sad place for a 48 year old. Only attractive woman who's consistently communicated with me was a unicorn on the surface. Pretty, petite, kidless, college educated brunette with a career. It came out that she's a social worker in another county. My wife was a social worker. I know several social workers. And they all know or know of each other. So I did some digging. I'm told she has a history of making false domestic abuse complaints against her partners. Criminal record narrowly avoided.
All those things are normal. I lost 70lbs when I got divorced in 2021. Couldnt eat or sleep. It sucks. Good thing is when you cant eat or sleep you lose alot of weight which shows your abs. Makes great pics for dating apps. Got more dates then I knew what to do with. it helped get me through. But time is what you need. Time is what makes it manageable. It takes 1.5 years before you recover and life is good again. I was pretty much same age as you. It sucks. Just go though the motions and emotions of it. Process it. Talk to people that have gone through it recently. (like us idiots). It helps. But just know that life gets better.
It took me 4 yrs to bury 30 yrs. Drinking like a retarded fish,and eventually made it to the online dating like you did. A few dates,and stories.The one I liked alot and got along with was gorgeous, but as soon as she found I was a lowly truck driver, well that ended that! Her X was a truck driver,go figure! Met a chick from Fla.,but she wanted me to swing with the neighbor couple some kinda freaky shit..and naw,so that ended that one.Then a big un that was mayor of some shithole town in S Ga. No connection, but she would call me up drunk regularly wanted a hook up,but I aint driving that damn far to poke a drunk mayor of mudhole Ga. Then the Mextican!!! Wooh!! What a fuckn fruit cake that one was! Spent all my damn money every weekend in Buckhead,and other swanky joints in Atlanta.Crazier n a shit house rat! Violent! but damn she could get it in the sheets!! It only took about 2 yrs to get that psycho to stop stalking me! So careful what ya ask for!! Then the current one,moved me to CA. and started errythang over from ground zero. Only other thing I can suggest is don't ever let anyone get ya down again like this.I gave it away once,but never again like that! Enjoy it!! You will one day consider yourself lucky,if all you lost was money. I lost a lot more!
I don’t know what kind of women all y’all are getting mixed up with, but I have it on good authority that there are wholesome, stable, intelligent women out there. In a galaxy far, far away.
The guys here told me that a few yrs back when I posted about her,here.I was asked if she stabbed me,tried to run me over? Did I go to jail? Bled yet? I answered no to them all,and the boys here let me know that we were not broken up,and she was not done with me!! And to these guys credit!! They were 100% correct!! She slapped my glasses off me on the last date! I paid the valet,and she hauled ass and left me standing on a sidewalk. Came back eventually and picked me up,and drove me back to my truck,and then attacked me some more cause that's how Mexticans show you they really like you!
I had a cousin who married a Mexican woman. He lived in Dallas when they met and married. 25 years later, living in New Mexico, no kids and she lost her fuckin' mind. Divorce ensued, and he got the fucking he always dreamed of by New Mexico family court..like 1500/month alimony for life. So, he tanked his career and she kept takin him to court about he alimony and he kept proving his inability to pay the full amount....he lived in a little trailer in some out in nowhere spot in NM happy. Eventually he moved in with his Mom after his Dad passed. She was in her 80s and needed help. They're all passed away now...but Clayton got screwed and like you, I saw that and said "NO MEXICO" for me. I mean, I MAY have "test drove" one or so along the way here...but that's as far as it goes for me.
Anyone looking into the dating game right after a divorce has lost their f’king mind. Learn to live alone and happy before you even consider another partner. Once the alone and happy gets comfortable, you probably won’t want one anyway.
I don’t think anyone said anything about a “partner”. In fact, it’s probably a good idea to set a timer so you don’t. Meet someone, say 60-90 days at the most and you cut it off and move on. That way you get a little variety in your life and don’t get anchored. NO cohabitation. Then you in the end learn more about the landscape and learn more about what you really want and don’t. It’s not about “being a playa” it’s more about having fun and learning to avoid repeating mistakes.
I made this mistake. Several times actually as it's easy to do when you think you need someone. I spent 18 months in the top right corner of the crazy/hot matrix and have some awesome stories to tell, but it ended up being a shit show. Thankfully I was able to shield the kids from the fallout and they know nothing of the details other than she's gone and if they cross paths with her, I'd like to know. Then I took said time to myself and realized I wanted someone. Wanting and needing are vastly different in every way, but especially in this regard. No idea if I'll ever marry again or not, but I'm open to whatever at this point, if it's right. I did the dating app tours and it's hell. I read on IG that it's like finding the nicest piece of junk at the yard sale, and truer words have never been written. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Lol I'm dating a gal now that I've been friends with for a couple of years, so we'll see how it goes. Best of luck to all of you each and every day!
Yup. Tinder is depressing. The thousands of profiles you see arent current theyre just old. The only ones worth swiping right on are the new ones. But the 500 chads are doing the same. Its a losing game.