“Going down to Branson…”

Yeah yeah, I know Johnny was singing about Jackson, all y’all can kiss my ass.

Riddle me this, crepe crusaders…how insane in the membrane am I for thinking to drag the silliest children in the west down to Branson for 4th of July weekend?

Anyone with useful feedback, your contributions are appreciated.

Anyone who wants to call me a fucking arrtard for even thinking of going someplace crowded “in this day and age”, well fucking duh, but there’s a reason I’m thinking Branson versus Seattle….

Anyone who wants to just make jabs at my expense, rock on with your bad selves, just make it funny

 

Have fun.

 

You and your kids will lower the average age of the people there by a long shot.

 

Just take the kids to the local senior center on bingo night.

 

I read this I"m going back to Branson..Branson..Branson. I'm going back to Branson

 

I think Andy Williams is still performing there.

 

So what I’m gathering is, once 7pm hits we’ll have the whole town to ourselves….

 

The floating restaurant down by BassPro on the river is OK.. not great.. it’s a tourist trap town.. I’d never go back u less it was to pick up more KTM parts from OzarkBikeBreakers..the only reason I went.

 

"...but in Soviet Russia, the beeb posts on you!"

 

Someone has to say it.
Marty Fucking Byrde.

 

I’ve already ran through all the trashy bitches locally, need to hunt for some fresh skank.

 

Plans are to hit the water park at silver dollar city, catch some righteous fireworks and do some touristy-trappy shit. Kids love WI Dells, love the water park at Lost Island in Waterloo, IA (they’re meh on the theme park), so I’m looking for something they’ll enjoy in a new location, specifically one that’s away from the current social stupidity plaguing other areas one might want to vacation at.

Am I overlooking anything?

 

Slide over this way and hit https://www.miadventure.com/ Roller coasters and waterpark. Then swing by the https://www.airzoo.org/ and see an SR71, and get in one of the full motion sims.

 

Maybe it’s just me, but I think it’s a basic tenet of website design, ESPECIALLY for a business expecting customers to come to them, to do something thuper thilly like putting the FUCKING ADDRESS of the business in the header of the page…but if you’re a total moron, make your prospective customers scroll AAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL THE WAY to the bottom of the page…and if you’re even more fucking retarded than that, do something really crazy and don’t put the fucking address on the home page AT ALL!

Because nothing makes a customer really want to patronize your business than making them search for where the fuck you’re located.

But hey, I guess “Michigan” is descriptive enough.

 

Don’t get me wrong Dan, I appreciate the suggestion, but I won’t patronize the dumbfucks on principle.

Hafta give me another good reason to visit Mitten-Land.

 

We have meth.

And the local police wont publish your name if they arrest you, for the 20th time, for selling or using meth.

Is that a good enough reason?

 

That's actually a pretty fun park if you have teens with u and not stupid expensive like the others. Muskegon is a fun beach town.

 

Some pretty cool mountain coasters there. Also, good pancakes at Billy Gails.

 

I'm assuming you already wore out Baraboo, and House On the Rock?

 

Eldest pain in the ass is a sea slug. The only physical activity she willingly participates in requires buoyancy.

Youngest pain in the ass has a bit more derring-do in her still, can get her on the waterslides and some roller coasters, but she also prefers the life aquatic.

And since last time I took them to Mt. Olympus the “early check-in” I was offered wasn’t honored, and when we finally got checked in and to our room, it hadn’t been cleaned, smelled like Washington Square Park and the amount of Cheez-Its ground into the carpet would require an EF4 tornado to extract, not to mention the proximity to Shit Hole, Chicago and the current state of affairs in the world of donuts, I really don’t have a desire to have my vacation time with the girls sullied by the stupidity of others.

Old codgers, open-faced turkey sandwiches and Geritol-laced brownies for me, and an environment where the girls don’t have to be armed sounds like a good time to us!