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Macho, Macho men

Discussion in 'General' started by Dave K, May 30, 2023.

  1. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    Not for you dudes that want to or identify as Randy Savage . . . oh yeeeah

    But for you mustache and goatee guys. For all you Freddie Mercurys, Sam Elliots, Burt Reynolds, Greg Nortons (Husker Dus, Husker Don'ts, Cherry Bombs, Nipsy Daisers. . .), Joe Dirts. . you get the point but this is questions for you all.

    I finally hit puberty (waiting on the growth spurt) and took the time to grow in a semi respectable moooostache and goatee (plus I was too cheap to buy new blades and order up the shave gel) and Sam want me to keep it for awhile so, why not. Questions are what do I need to do with this stupid ass series of facial hair? Wash it like hair but do I need to condition it? Is there product I need to put in it to keep it from looking like saquatches' butthole? Really, this is my first one in my life.

    It's driving me freakin' crazy and it's more white than brown but it's there so why not roll with it?

    I'm sure in a few weeks I'll be asking how to shave the stupid shit off but that's then.

    and for your f@cks that asked if I now look like Hitler, f@ck off. It's a better mooostache than that. :D and if it comes in, yeah, I'll be Greg Nortoning it. :D
     
    SpeedyE likes this.
  2. Once a Wanker..

    Once a Wanker.. Always a Wanker!

    Nope...

    Some things better left unsaid.
     
  3. britx303

    britx303 Boomstick Butcher…..

  4. pfhenry

    pfhenry Well-Known Member

    don't use just for men mooostache and beard. It will ruin the pigment in your skin.
     
  5. tiggen

    tiggen Things are lookin' up.

    I tried a lot.of things, but the girl who trims my beard said normal shampoo and conditioner is fine.
     
  6. Razr

    Razr Well-Known Member

    We need a pic to better help you out.....
     
    ToofPic and cha0s#242 like this.
  7. pickled egg

    pickled egg Tell me more

    Oil it at least once a week. Fried chicken grease works well, with the added benefit of making your dog like you.
     
    SpeedyE, CBRRRRR999 and Banditracer like this.
  8. ton

    ton Arf!

    I wash it same as my face. Condition occasionally. And beard oil fairly often. My wife chose one she likes the smell of…
     
  9. gixer1100

    gixer1100 CEREAL KILLER

    i never had an issue that i noticed. i used regular shampoo and conditioner, and then some beard oil .
     
  10. BrentA

    BrentA Very expensive.

    You'll need to have a long hard look at yourself, and with all honesty determine if you have a proper beard.
    There's a certain type of American male beard pattern you'll see that looks like pubes dangling from their chins.
    Some kind of cognitive dissonance going on there, but that shit has gotta go.

    So yea, post a picture.. we'll let you know. :crackup:
     
  11. deathwagon

    deathwagon Well-Known Member

    Men's facial hair is like Yoga pants on women. Everyone seems to think they can pull it off, but it looks disgusting on all but .00014% of the population. Face full of pubes, and balloons full of cottage cheese and strange lumps. Bonus points if you adopt both fashion trends.
     
    SpeedyE, crashman, ToofPic and 3 others like this.
  12. pfhenry

    pfhenry Well-Known Member

    what kind of length are we talking... just past scruff or a couple weeks worth? Mine looks goofy past half inch.
     
  13. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    Just Past scruff.

    Some of you could do better in a few days or a week but it’s what I can do. :D
     
    dtalbott likes this.
  14. stickboy274

    stickboy274 Stick-a-licious Tire Dude

    I remember you saying you couldn't grow face hairs. That week I grew sideburns to show you at VIR. I took 4/5 days. I had those things for 10-15 years.
     
    Razr likes this.
  15. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    Yeah man, I tried once during the vids and it was the suck. This time, it just happened.

    still no sideburns or chops. :D
     
    stickboy274 likes this.
  16. SPL170db

    SPL170db Trackday winner

    I shampoo and condition it with the same stuff as I use on my scalp every few days. I put this in it when I get out the shower to help tame it and run a brush through.
    https://www.scotchporter.com/products/beard-balm


    I also wouldn't stop with just the mustache and goatee, looks too Kenny Powers/Fat Steven Seagal. Grow a full beard like a real man
     
  17. Dave K

    Dave K DaveK über alles!

    I can’t, the side doesn’t come in. If I could grow burns I’d be sporting Ben bostrom 90210 for decades. :D

    I look forward to shaving it off and doing all the stupid combos I can think of. Max Biaggi douche bag pencil mooostache, Hollywood soul patch, Lemmy. . .
     
    pfhenry likes this.
  18. Razr

    Razr Well-Known Member

    Flavor saver.....
     
    27 likes this.
  19. Britt

    Britt Well-Known Member

    No photos of said "Man Beard"...I call Booolshit. :)
     
    A. Barrister, ToofPic and 27 like this.
  20. nigel smith

    nigel smith Well-Known Member

    Beard conditioner!? God damn it! If you use anything on your beard but the cheapest bar soap from the dollar store, shave that shit off. Some of you hit puberty without ever kick starting a British single, and it shows. I'm fucking horrified.
     
    dtalbott, bpro, SuddenBraking and 8 others like this.

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