Bigass pet turtle

Does anybody have one? What are they like? What do they eat? Do they shit everywhere?

I want one. Turtles are funny to me.

Like this...

 

Turtles fucking STINK.

 

Big difference between a turtle and tortoise also. Don't confuse the two

 

There's a few people on the InstaG's that have accounts for their pet tortoises. Overall, they seem best suited for hot and dry areas. Just be advised, those suckers live for EVER!!!

 

I know a few people with a Tortoise and as stated above, you have to setup a place for them after you're gone. I was just talking to a friend and about this. 150 years is a reasonable amount of time for them to live...

 

That’s a lot of soup.

 

Space to roam, burrow, graze, daily water, warmth. They are like mini bulldozers and DGAF!
Handfeeding a big one can lead to similar results as a 4th of July fireworks mishap if you're not careful.

A friend in Arizona had one. Probably still does.
Every "Winter" it would march in to the house and wedge itself between the washer, dryer and back wall and hibernate for 4-5 months.

 

www.turtlestore.com

 

The KOA campground in Waco, GA has two.... I think the younger is 20-ish and the older 65 or so.

They are super cool - not sure I'd want to care for one though......

 

Do they get upset if you don’t use their preferred pronouns?

 

Yep really fast too if you think they both can swim...

 

A Nigerian goat would be funnier. Could probably sneak one in country with your luggage.

 

Just buy a ‘72 VW Beetle. Same personality as a turtle, does the same tricks as a turtle and it’ll cost less than a stupid turtle.

 

Just get a donkey

 

A dude I know got two guard donkeys. They will f@ck you up.

 

I had no idea so many people owned these until I got to AZ. Every week someone on the city FB group is either finding one that got out, or asking if anyone knows where theirs is. Big tortoises. Not sure how the heck they are "escaping".

 

Slowly.

 

I have a friend in Dahlonega GA. that has an animal preserve. He has around 10,different age groups in a small outdoor corral. As said they live forever! All they really want to do is eat veggies, shit,and bash into each other.Kinda like a small crash up derby.
I've seen a few corrals in pet stores. Go for it!
Not a lot of maintenance as long as they get food water,and not too cold temps
Oh almost forgot..lots of turtle humping, whether the other turtle likes it or not.
Then the kids start asking questions, and you have to say their playing leap frog