Any BMW auto techs on the beeb?

Cool story bro.

 

And for the record, most of you fools can't even buy a vacuum without consulting the beeb and 15 pages of comments

 

I'm Broome with tools but without livengood. I buy cool shit and expect everything to be perfect and if it isn't chances are I'll do a better job diagnosing and correcting than a dealership monkey

 

Here's the scoop. 2020 BMW X5 with laser lights. These magical lights per BMW are so amazing that anything combustible within 20 feet of the vehicle should spontaneously burst into flames. In reality they are the worst headlights I've ever had on a vehicle. There are a million sensors that modify the light output direction and height and something is out of whack. Took it to the dealer and the tech literally just turned on the lights verified they come on and marked it as appears normal which is BMW dealership speak for techs are not allowed to think. short of any warning lights the standard answer for every reported problem is appears normal.

 

Broome says there is a button for that.

 

So it has the lights that move up/down, and turn into corners? The TGT does that too. But no way would I try to fix it if it messed up. No telling how much shit I would fuck up.

A 2020 should still be under warranty. If that dealer didn’t fix it then take it to a different one.

Or take it to Livengood. Bet he could fix it.

 

You can't do shit to diagnose it without an ADAS system. New lighting technology does not mean better lighting technology. Ask for the replacement cost of one of those magical little devices. I await your head explosion.

 

If that model you have is a G05 X5 and came with fully adaptive headlights they should turn with the corners and go up down with the road angle and auto high beam..
maybe you can delete or deprogram the fully adaptive then have to manually turn on high beams.. or swap out with a lesser grade models headlights without the premium package. If some one was smart enough they would know which wires to disconnect for the FA if you take off the bumper and headlight assembly..

I had a 3 series that had a fully adaptable headlight go out it was 2k to replace and the other was turning pink in color the dealer tech said it indicated end of life so it meant another 2k very soon…—. 4k on head lights! so I traded it in without even replacing the bad fully adaptive… these headlights are a critical flaw.. IMO


LOL— just mount a LED bar and call it a day!!

good luck!

I have a couple Alpha Romeos for you when you are done with that one!

 

I like them. I think they are cool, especially when they light up the corner I’m going around.

But yeah, I can’t imagine what it would cost to replace them shits.

 

You don't have to imagine. They are $2200 a corner plus labor if you have to do it out of warranty.

 

At least for me, just jealous I can't afford a BMW! Had to bust balls for a second and no ill will intentioned.

 

That’s BMW tech speak for the tech doesn’t make any money dealing with your yuppie assed gay headlight issue. Is the dealership even open when it’s dark outside?
Hell it’s a SUV, put you some light bars across the hood and call it good.

 

Fuck that. I’d just trade it in.

 

without implying anything, a head - on collision under full coverage might be the best fix.

 

This is actually pretty spot on sadly

 

6500 per side actually. Used ones with damage are 2000 on ebay

 

But these lights have actual fucking lasers in them. Broome's TGT is cool but it doesn't have frickin lasers.

 

Buy an Audi, the laser lights work great around corners and shit on second thoughts do what Danny said and put a light bar on it.

 

Damnit I need lasers.

 

BMW does not think you are worthy of performing any maintenance. You are merely a peasant who shall only drive the vehicle. Just bring it to them and they will charge you appropriately for their expertise. Working on my wife’s BMW has seriously jaded me. My F150 is a dream to work on in comparison.