Is it odd that I can hear your voice calling me big spoon in my head when I read this? Guess that's what happens when you hear it repeated enough times.
After a heavy night if drinking a friend of mine and his girlfriend were laying in bed the next morning. So he Dutch ovens her and he holds the blankets down so she can't get out. All the while she's yelling she's going to be sick, while he's laughing his ass off. Then she blew chunks all over him and his bed. We were waiting for them in the parking lot the next morning to go to brunch. She hurried out of the building lobby not saying anything to anyone jumped in her car and left. It was hilarious.
I am reminded of the one about the guy who wanted to marry a virgin so pure she didn't even know what a dick looked like.