A little back story.... my family has been in the restaurant business for over 30 years. I took my 3 yr old son to the park yesterday for a few hours and he was running around...talking and playing with the other children that were there. A group of 4 or 5 went past me to climb up the stairs to the slide. I heard the leader of that group say "we're going to outer space in our space ship!" My kid is behind that group getting ready to climb the stairs so I asked him if he was getting in the space ship too. He scrunched his face up and said "I'm getting in my catering van and going to work." I'm so proud.
The other day my two year old whispered to me: "it's coming" I said what's coming? Still whispering he said "The spiders... big ones" WTF
My nephew has a 3 year old son. Last week while getting cut off in traffic and swerving, he heard a "you little fucker" from the car seat!
So true. My Dad was in the Army and then joined the Merchant Marines. He was the classic definition of "cursed like a sailor." We were little kids but I'll never forget this. When leaving a Christmas party at my Dad's friends house, the host was handing out coats to people as they were leaving. My sister looks up at him and says "Gimme my god damn coat you son of a bitch!"
I get ratted out all the time while driving. I do curse all the time now since they are a little older, and understand not to say that. I guess it was 5 years of pent up not cursing in the house.
I heard a story about myself the other day. I was about three years old, riding around in the back seat of Moms car. It was a warm fall day, the windows were down. Mom see's the neighbor raking leaves, she beeps the horn and waves. I yell out "Asswipe!" from the back seat at an abnormally loud level for a three year old. Mom was mortified, and it became apparent that she needed to consider what she yelled at people while driving with me in the car. Monkey see, monkey do I guess...
A few weeks back my daughter was having a meltdown and my boy walked into the room, shook his head, waved his hands around and said FUCKING KIDS!!!!
Back when my daughter was 5 or so (she's 11 now), we had this exchange: Daughter: Papa, you have lots of grey hairs. Me: Yup. I get a new one every time you argue with me. Daughter: No, you don't. :/
Observed this exchange between my son, when he was a toddler, and a new babysitter: Babysitter: "What's THIS a picture of?" Son: "A Duc!" Babysitter: "No, honey, that's a mo-tor-cy-cle."
They were looking at a motorcycle magazine with a picture of a Ducati, he knew that was what it was, but I image she had no idea whatsoever what he was talking about.
I was at a pizza place last night with my 5 y.o. and UFC was on the tube. She watched it quietly for about 10 minutes then said "It looks like they are just laying on the ground together trying to look awkward." I have never heard the ultimate hugging championship described better.
Friday afternoon at PIRC the wife leaves my boy playing in the sportbrella on spectator hill while she sneaks down to the fence to take some photos. A few minutes later she hears him screaming "MOM, MOM, MOM, MOM!" she turns around and acknowledges him and he yells "MOM I GOTTA TAKE A PISS!" Luckily for her there were only a couple hundred people paying attention