Hitman hired to do in the Dits

Chickenshit lawyers are a dime a dozen.

 

I appreciate that.

Truth is, I'm a bit vulnerable. I can't carry on the block walk from my office to the courthouse (no guns allowed in the courthouse.) And to make matters worse, my Jeep is gonna be in the shop for the next few days, so I'm riding my Zuma to work. Talk about a sitting duck.

 

I can handle this, but it will cost you.

How much is your life worth?

 

A real lawyer would have a yeller Ferrari for every day of the week, and keep Chuck Norris on retainer to scare the assassin's bullets away.

Pussy.

 

I have it covered.

 

Do they make seersucker kevlar vests?

 

:FL:

 

You're not allowed to simply turn in your gun at the courthouse and reclaim it on the way back out?!?! As a lawyer, I think that'd be kinda standard practice. Pretty insane if it isn't.

 

Do you think it'd be a good idea to have all those lawyers, armed, in the same place?

Hell, I'm thinking more like your bar membership card comes with instructions on where to turn in all your guns.

 

Steven Seagal doesn't cut it, Dits.

You'd be better off with this guy:

 

Sure they didn't just hire a wet-work guy?

 

Bullet proof flip flops.

 

I told him I'd do it for the prize at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box.

 

no .45 ACP or .45 Super?

Fail.

 

Aaahhh family practice, ain't it grand!!! Assume he's a pro se? Makes it all the better, doesn't it? Recently I had the ~300lbs baby's momma go through my partner to get at our ~120lbs daddy client. I pushed the client back and threw a block on her which she never made it through. Thankfully we were in the main hallway of the courthouse, and several moments later six judicial marshals converged and helped her find the door. The incident was a blessing b/c it provide us with the instant leverage needed to make settlement with her attorney thereafter that much easier....

 

Will he accept PayPal?

 

Right.

So Dits, post up the name and address, add a photo if you like.

 

with what? your tort cases?

 

I didn't realize Florida is a gay marriage state

 

#1. Notify the popo and request extra patrol on your residence.

#2 Hire a protective security specialist.