So I was driving my nephew through this redneckedy neighborhood, letting him out to canvas the area handing out Vacation Bible School pamphlets. As I was watching he approached this really old guy out messing around in his driveway. Dude looked like he musta been Methuselah's grandaddy. Anyway my nephew tried to be polite and ask if this guy had any grandkids who might be interested. Three things you could always count on from rednecks. They love their beer and they love their country, and they damn sure don't threaten anyone who's simply trying to get the kids to go to church. I couldn't believe that geezer chasing my nephew, cussing like he was the love-child of Lewis Black and Michael Richards. I thought he was going to throw his PBR can at my nephew before he could make it back to my car. Fortunately the old geezer couldn't run any faster than Stephen Hawking in a tar pit, so the nephew got back safe and we hauled ass. The end.
OMFG! I laughed so hard reading that I actually peed my pants. You sir, are a fucking genius! Whatever you are smoking I want some. Edit: Definitely Best of the BBS material. Edit 2: In on Page 1.
Looking back on it I'm not sure but I think an outhouse might have been the only structure on the property.